Ch. 16

Sam's POV

I gather my thoughts for a second and wipe the tears from my eyes before timidly getting into the conversation I was trying to put off.

"I told him no," I whisper softly, adverting my eyes anywhere besides his.

"You told who no?" I can hear the frustration in his voice. It's as if he's trying his very best not to just grab me by my shoulders and give me a good shake. "If it was Marc, I swear I'll--"

"No, it wasn't Marc," I snap back at him, glaring at him and finally looking at him for the first time since I started talking. "I love him," I announce, and suddenly wish I didn't as I see him wince slightly, but not say anything. It is then that I know for sure that last night did actually happen, and there is no getting around that. "He loves me," I add, trying to make my last statement less bold. "He would never do anything to hurt me."

"Well than who?" He questions angrily, and I can't blame him. "What were they trying to do to you?

"Do you remember a couple of years ago when my parents sent me down here to stay with you?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do--?" he starts, but I interrupt him.

"Just answer the question, Sid."

"Yes," he sighs. "How could I forget."

"Do you remember why I had to come stay with you?" I press on.

"Because your parents said you were an unruly brat," he laughs, and I have to admit, he makes me smile a little. "No, I'm kidding. Your parents said you had a run in with a couple of people up there, right..?"

"Yes." I state simply. He squishes his face and raises his eyebrow in a way that says continue. "Do you remember Josh?", I continue, because I'm just ready to get this over with. He sits there puzzled, and I know that means his answer is probably a no. "From Juniors?"

"Oh, yeah," he replies, not sure where this is going. "Haven't heard from him in a long time. What's he up to?"

"Like I give a shit what he's doing," I mumble under my breath. Sid catches what I say, and just gives me a puzzled look. I sit silently, shuddering at the single memory of that one moment, and the tears start falling again. Sid sits there silently as well, completely puzzled.

"He raped me," I say in so quiet of a voice it's almost inaudible. I glance up at his face, just to make sure he's heard me. I know he did as I watch the realization hit his face as it changes from frustrated to pure rage. He opens his mouth about three times to try and talk to me, but closes them all three times as I just sit there and let the tears silently roll down my face.

"And I tried to tell him no," I stammer. "I did, I tried, but he was just too big for me, and I couldn't fight him off." I don't need to go into detail any further, because he's already got me wrapped in his strong arms, and suddenly I'm not as afraid as I was before and the bad feeling goes away. I sit there and continue to cry, and he just holds me. Finally he speaks up.

"Does your brother know?"

"No," I scoff. "Are you kidding me? He would have freaked out way too much. The last thing I needed was him getting thrown in jail for murder. I needed him. "

"Well, obviously your parents knew, right?"

"Yeah, they wanted me to press charges, but I had no proof. And I didn't want to make it into a big deal. So that's when we came up with the idea of me coming to live with you. I had to get away," I reply. "They knew you would take care of me," I add in a low voice. He smirks, but I can tell there is something else on his mind.

"And Marc?" And there it is. I knew he would make it about the two of them.

"Yes, Marc knows. Why wouldn't he know?! He is my boyfriend, after all."

Sid's POV

It stings, the way she so casually drops the "b" word after everything that has happened here. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a possibility that she would go back to him. Bt now, I'm just not quite sure where that leaves me or how I'm going to deal with losing her so shortly after realizing that I wanted her in the first place.

"And besides, he's been present for more than a few of my night terrors," she adds in a softer tone, as if trying to make the let down easier.

"Of course," I reply, nodding my head and trying not to make her feel as bad.

"Thank you for being there for me last night, Sid," she says politely while standing up and lightly kissing my cheek and then leaving.

Needing to clear my head, I hop into the shower. I let the hot water pour over my body for a good 15 minutes and then decide that I can't avoid her any longer. I still have a few things I need to get off of my chest, and then if she still choses Marc I'll at least know that I tried. I quickly get dressed and then head out of my bedroom, but stop just short of the guest bedroom that Sam was staying in. I can hear her on the phone, obviously talking to Marc.

"I know you need some space to get over everything, but do you think you could use a visitor?"

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"I know...."

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"It's just that, I really need to see you," she sobs out. "I need you right now. I need you to make it better like you always do."

And that's all I need to hear. That's enough to leave a sting in my chest for a while, so I walk right past her door and down the stairs and fall onto the couch and turn the tv on. About ten minutes later I hear her coming down the stairs as well, with her suitcase in tow.

Sam's POV

I gather my things and then make my way down to the living room where I can hear the tv playing. I leave my suitcase by the end of the stairway and head over to where Sid is sitting on the couch. He looks over at me, but only for a second before turning his attention back to the tv.

"Leaving so soon?" The sarcasm in his voice hurts me. Out of all people, I never would have thought that he would think I'd use him just for a night.

"Umm, yeah I'm just kind of needing some space to think about everything and get my mind straight again."

"And go see Marc?" He asks, a tone to his voice that I'm not liking and a look on his face that I'm not fond of either.

"Yeah, just for a little bit," I reply, wishing he wouldn't be treating me like this. Right now, I don't think I can handle being hurt by him too. "I'll call you when my flight lands?" I ask, hoping like hell he won't back down on our ritual right now. We've always done this since he first started flying, and it just kind of stuck by the time I finally got on a plane.

He looks down at his watch, and then casually looks back at the tv.

"Yeah, I don't know Sam, it will be a late landing. I'll probably already be asleep." And just like that, I feel as if a thousand bricks have just landed on top of me. I know I can't keep it together long, so I make a quick exit.

Sid's POV

"Right," she adds casually with a nod of her head, but I can hear the defeat in the tone of her voice and I know I've hurt her. "Well I'm heading out. Call me sometime," she says while grabbing her suitcase and wheeling it toward the door. I hear the door open and don't say a word until it slowly clicks shut.

And in that moment, I can't decide if I let my ego get in the way of everything I've ever wanted.