Ch. 19

Sam's POV

I lay in Marc's arm, cradled against his side as we sit in silence, absentmindedly lightly running my fingernails up and down his arms, a habit of mine. I snuggle up closer to him, wanting to feel that feeling.. the indescribable one I use to get when he held me just like this. I wish and beg for that feeling to come, try and will for it to occur, but I get nothing, as if my heart's gone cold. Although I know it hasn't, because I'm very much alive, and my heart contains a much different feeling inside of it, for a much different man than the one lying next to me. My hand stops moving as an instantaneous shiver runs up my spine. My eyes cloud with water as I realize that another man holds that feeling now..

Marc notices how I tense up and shifts in response to reposition us. He clears his throat before speaking.

"Sam?" he asks timidly. I close my eyes, trying to get my thoughts together before I look up at him, seeing his eyes are filled with tears as well. He looks down at me, pain clear in his eyes. "It's him, isn't it." I stare up at him, not knowing what to do. I open my mouth up to speak, but nothing comes out. "You love him."

I sit there, looking at him for what feels like hours, running everything though my head before finally speaking up. "I'm so sorry, Marc," I answer in a small voice, tears finally pouring from my eyes. He gives me a single nod, confirming he's heard me before taking a deep sigh, kissing me on the head, and getting up out of the bed, leaving me in the room alone to cry myself to sleep.

Sid's POV

For the fourth night in a row, I drown my sorrows in a bottle of JD while watching late night TV. I know it's probably not the healthiest way to get over her, but it's the offseason, and I'm not concerned with being healthy at the moment. My eyes have dark circles around them from the lack of sleep I've been getting, but I can't force myself to try and get some rest. Every time I close my eyes her image haunts my dreams, leaving me restless and therefore doing me no more good than watching this old, pathetic 80s game show. I hear the doorbell ring and automatically look at the clock to confirm that it's after 2 AM. Tipping back my last gulp of liquor, I set my cup down on the coffee table before slowly getting up and making my way toward the door. As soon as I open it and see her standing there, I automatically go to shut it, but her reflexes are too good and she beats me to it, opening the door all the way back up and walking in, so I turn and walk back toward the couch, deciding I have nothing to say.

"Sidney?" she asks, knowing I won't answer in return. I fumble back into the living room, looking for the remote before heading back toward the couch. "Sid?" she calls again, and this time I look at her, let her see the pain and agony in my eyes. She knows me well, notices this and it causes her lips to fall silent. But she's stubborn, and I know she's not done with me yet. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"What's wrong? Do you really have to ask?" I scoff, watching her walk her way towards me. She reaches out for me, but I shy away.

"Sid," she asks again in pleading eyes. I stare right back at her, anger seeping out of my gaze.

"I love you," I answer, not breaking our eye contact. "Loved," I add with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Loved?" she questions.

"Yeah Samantha, loved," I reiterate. "I don't know when it happened, or why it happened, the fact is I've loved you for a long time, I don't know when it started." I add, sitting back and thinking about it for myself. "Maybe it was that time we were skating on the pond and you hit thin ice and me and Jack pulled you out, maybe it was when you let us talk you into thinking climbing that tree was a good idea, or maybe it was when strapped pillows to you with duct tape and you were our goalie, I don't know," I say with a sigh, thinking back on how many good times her, Jack, and I had. "I'm not sure. The days are a blur, but I remember you. And how you've always been a pain in my ass, even to this day. And you're crazy, most of the time. And you can be wrong a lot of the times and you definitely know how to drive me completely crazy. But I've realized that I need you. That I trust you. That I admire you. That yes, I love you, Sam." I finished before looking into her eyes one last time before sitting back down on the couch and turning my back to her. After a few seconds, I hear her sniffling.

"I'm wrong most of the time?" she asks. I can't help myself, I turn over my shoulder and look and her and nod my head. "I'm not wrong about you," she continues, walking toward me while tears run down her face before sitting down across from me on the coffee table. "I love you, too."

The End.

Ch. 18

I've never written a story with a cheater in it, and I'm not quite sure how you all are handling it compared to my other stories. But.. don't hate Sam. Puh-lease.. don't hate Sam. That's all I ask. :)

AND.. after half a night, the vote has spoken for itself. :/

Sam's POV

He stares at me before walking inside, leaving the door open. I follow, closing it behind me only to find him no where. I walk into the living room, which is dark, and find him sitting on the couch bent forward with his hands on his knees, staring at nothing in particular.

"Marc?" I ask, but he doesn't respond.

I walk around, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him, feeling very small and insignificant.

"What do you mean you fucked up?" He asks in an eerily calm voice.

"Marc, I love you. So, so, so, so much. You know that, right?"

"What did you do, Samantha?" He asks in a tone that feels much like the one my mother uses.

"Do you want to know like reasonings, or do you just want it short and sweet?" I ask, trying my hardest to put this off. I'm scared because I don't know how he's going to take it, or to react. He could not want anything to do with me, and rightfully so. What scares me even more is I'm not sure what reaction I want; I'm not sure if I want him to give me a second chance, or throw me out on the streets.

"Like ripping off a bandaid," he snarls, reminding me of the saying we always use toward one anther, making me feel like the worst piece of shit person in the world. I sigh, bracing myself for a nasty response.

"I slept with Sid," I murmur in a barely audible whisper while shutting my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. I sit there for about 10 seconds before looking up into his burning eyes. He's absolutely livid. He gets up and starts pacing around the room, almost for so long that I don't know if I should just get up and leave or not.

"How long ago?" he prompts, never once standing still. And this I know will be the big kicker right here... I have every right to be treated poorly I keep reminding myself.

"A couple nights ago," I cringe, waiting and gauging his reaction.

"Que l'enfer, Sam? Comment pourriez-vous me faire ca!" He yells, switching to his native tongue just like he always does when he's frustrated, while knocking a vase off of the table he's close to. He then turns his attention to the chair next to him and hurls it across the room. Unfortunately for me, I can't understand anything he's saying. He recognizes this and looks at me with condescending eyes. "You told me you never felt anything for him. That you didn't feel anything for him in here," he continues while reaching for his chest, anger replaced by a painful expression only for a glimpse second.

"I don't," I start, but then know that isn't completely true. "Or I didn't, I don't know," I cry out before getting up and trying to walk towards him. "I'm so sorry I did this to you Marc, you've been there for me for so many different things," I add while reaching out for him, only for him to shy away from me.

"What do you want?" he simply asks.

"What?"

"What. Do. You. Want. Sam?" he reiterates, looking at me intensely. "What do you want?!" he practically shouts across the room after I don't respond.

"I... I love you, Marc," I tell him, starting to cry, because even though I have all these emotions in my head, it is a true statement. I do love Marc. So much. But suddenly, I'm doubting everything I've ever done. I see a glimmer of hope flash through his eyes and I see his mood lighten a little, but not enough to completely ease my feeling of anxiety.

He walks toward me then, not at a slow pace, but at a hungry pace until he presses his lips to mine, momentarily stealing my breath away, just like he always does. He forcefully backs me up until I'm up against the back of the couch, which he picks me up and puts me on. He takes my shirt off, throwing it to the side before his lips work their way down my neck.

"He never touches you again," he states, almost painfully holding into my wrist. "Do you understand me?"

I mutely nod my head, waiting for his next move. As if predicted, he reaches for the top button of my jeans and undoes it before my panties follow suit. I've never seen Marc act this way before, but it has me more than a little turned on. He undoes his pants, sending them to the floor before he rips me off the couch and carries me into the adjacent bedroom before tossing me onto the bed, his body quickly following mine.

His movements are forceful and rigid, taking my body to the extreme measures he's learned to reach so long ago. My body is reacting to his just as it should; he's doing all the right things. But his harsh movements have me thinking of a much more gentle touch, his controlling nature making me think of a much more giving gesture, and much more importantly, his dark, brooding eyes have me thinking of a lighter, caramel colored pair.

Ch. 17

I'm slowly trying to give all my readers (that have waited for about a year now, if you are still out there) an ending to all of these stories I've started. I'm finishing them one by one, so if you want one finished next, voice your opinion and I'll see what I can do.

Sam's POV

It's not until I'm on my red eye flight back and all of my fellow travelers eyes' close that I let a couple tears slide down my face. I had never seen Sid be so cold hearted to anybody in my life; not even a member to a member from the Flyers. Now granted, yes, there were mixed emotions running all over the place. First and foremost, I loved Marc. After a few short months, I fell much harder than I ever had for any other man. He was more accepting of me than I had ever asked or even deserved, and because of this I felt ashamed that I was often humiliated by the crude and harsh comments people made about our age difference. To me, ten years felt like nothing, but apparently to the hockey community, it was a crime.

And then after all of this, there is Sid. For the first time, I'm catching on to how he really feels about me. I would be a fool if I couldn't see the passion in his eyes in the special moment we spent together the past night. But then all of this led me to thinking about what I really felt, and if I believed in what my mind was telling me. It's almost as if I finally caught on to how I felt for Sid as well, almost like I always felt this way for him, and I was too far in denial to try and come to my senses. But if I could push this feeling aside for as many years as it took to surface, then was it really a feeling worth fighting for?

I shake my head, knowing that when I have to tell Marc, the man that I love more than anything, about the events that took place between Sid and I, I can only cringe. And this makes me realize that what I feel for Marc is not even comparable to what I feel for Sid. But that is the whole problem, right?

If only it were easy enough to be able to compare the two men that have both semi-stolen my heart, I would be able to rule out one or the other. But both men are completely different, treat me completely differently, and make my feel differently about myself.

In no time at all my flight is landing, and it is raining as if almost to set the tone for my glum mood. I grab a cab and only confuse myself more as my mind can only think of Sid while I'm on my way to go see Marc.

I think the worst part of this whole situation is that nobody feels sorry for me; not that I need any kind of sympathy, but I'm that dumb dame in the love story that everyone hates throughout the whole movie, because it's my fault I slept with both of them, it's my fault I can't pick, and it's my fault that I fell in love with two completely differently, similarly amazing men.

Marc peek's his head out of the curtain hanging in the living room window, almost as if sensing my arrival. He smiles at me, and for a second my heart flutters, but then it is overcome with guilt and I know I'm the worst person in the world for doing what I've done to him.

Marc's POV

She arrives, slowly getting out of her cab while I grab her bags and pay the cab driver. I set off towards the house at a jog, trying to get out of the rain. I get all the way to the steps before I notice she's not with me and turn around, only to find her just standing still, letting the rain get her drenched.

"Sam, come on," I yell while gesturing for her to follow. I thought that after losing the series I would need space from her, but come to find out as soon as I got up here, all I wanted was for her to make it better. She nods her head slowly, and then comes toward me. When she finally reaches me, I drop her bags and pull her in for a tight hug, not minding at all that I'm still getting wet from the rain. "I've missed you," I tell her sincerely, pressing my lips to hers hungrily. Her lips are motionless at first, but I slowly get them to begin moving with mine, and then suddenly hockey is the last thing on my mind. She pulls away, sighing before looking me in the eyes and it's then that for the first time, I see the panic in them.

"I've missed you too," she says while shaking her head. "You have no idea how much I love you," she declares. I shake my head, not knowing where this is coming from.

"I love you too, baby," I confirm through a smile, my pocket suddenly getting heavier as I get more anxious to pull yesterday's purchase out. But I have it all planned out, and I want this to be special.

"I fucked up."

And there it is. Three little words that have my heart pounding.

Ch. 16

Sam's POV

I gather my thoughts for a second and wipe the tears from my eyes before timidly getting into the conversation I was trying to put off.

"I told him no," I whisper softly, adverting my eyes anywhere besides his.

"You told who no?" I can hear the frustration in his voice. It's as if he's trying his very best not to just grab me by my shoulders and give me a good shake. "If it was Marc, I swear I'll--"

"No, it wasn't Marc," I snap back at him, glaring at him and finally looking at him for the first time since I started talking. "I love him," I announce, and suddenly wish I didn't as I see him wince slightly, but not say anything. It is then that I know for sure that last night did actually happen, and there is no getting around that. "He loves me," I add, trying to make my last statement less bold. "He would never do anything to hurt me."

"Well than who?" He questions angrily, and I can't blame him. "What were they trying to do to you?

"Do you remember a couple of years ago when my parents sent me down here to stay with you?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do--?" he starts, but I interrupt him.

"Just answer the question, Sid."

"Yes," he sighs. "How could I forget."

"Do you remember why I had to come stay with you?" I press on.

"Because your parents said you were an unruly brat," he laughs, and I have to admit, he makes me smile a little. "No, I'm kidding. Your parents said you had a run in with a couple of people up there, right..?"

"Yes." I state simply. He squishes his face and raises his eyebrow in a way that says continue. "Do you remember Josh?", I continue, because I'm just ready to get this over with. He sits there puzzled, and I know that means his answer is probably a no. "From Juniors?"

"Oh, yeah," he replies, not sure where this is going. "Haven't heard from him in a long time. What's he up to?"

"Like I give a shit what he's doing," I mumble under my breath. Sid catches what I say, and just gives me a puzzled look. I sit silently, shuddering at the single memory of that one moment, and the tears start falling again. Sid sits there silently as well, completely puzzled.

"He raped me," I say in so quiet of a voice it's almost inaudible. I glance up at his face, just to make sure he's heard me. I know he did as I watch the realization hit his face as it changes from frustrated to pure rage. He opens his mouth about three times to try and talk to me, but closes them all three times as I just sit there and let the tears silently roll down my face.

"And I tried to tell him no," I stammer. "I did, I tried, but he was just too big for me, and I couldn't fight him off." I don't need to go into detail any further, because he's already got me wrapped in his strong arms, and suddenly I'm not as afraid as I was before and the bad feeling goes away. I sit there and continue to cry, and he just holds me. Finally he speaks up.

"Does your brother know?"

"No," I scoff. "Are you kidding me? He would have freaked out way too much. The last thing I needed was him getting thrown in jail for murder. I needed him. "

"Well, obviously your parents knew, right?"

"Yeah, they wanted me to press charges, but I had no proof. And I didn't want to make it into a big deal. So that's when we came up with the idea of me coming to live with you. I had to get away," I reply. "They knew you would take care of me," I add in a low voice. He smirks, but I can tell there is something else on his mind.

"And Marc?" And there it is. I knew he would make it about the two of them.

"Yes, Marc knows. Why wouldn't he know?! He is my boyfriend, after all."

Sid's POV

It stings, the way she so casually drops the "b" word after everything that has happened here. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a possibility that she would go back to him. Bt now, I'm just not quite sure where that leaves me or how I'm going to deal with losing her so shortly after realizing that I wanted her in the first place.

"And besides, he's been present for more than a few of my night terrors," she adds in a softer tone, as if trying to make the let down easier.

"Of course," I reply, nodding my head and trying not to make her feel as bad.

"Thank you for being there for me last night, Sid," she says politely while standing up and lightly kissing my cheek and then leaving.

Needing to clear my head, I hop into the shower. I let the hot water pour over my body for a good 15 minutes and then decide that I can't avoid her any longer. I still have a few things I need to get off of my chest, and then if she still choses Marc I'll at least know that I tried. I quickly get dressed and then head out of my bedroom, but stop just short of the guest bedroom that Sam was staying in. I can hear her on the phone, obviously talking to Marc.

"I know you need some space to get over everything, but do you think you could use a visitor?"

--------

"I know...."

--------

"It's just that, I really need to see you," she sobs out. "I need you right now. I need you to make it better like you always do."

And that's all I need to hear. That's enough to leave a sting in my chest for a while, so I walk right past her door and down the stairs and fall onto the couch and turn the tv on. About ten minutes later I hear her coming down the stairs as well, with her suitcase in tow.

Sam's POV

I gather my things and then make my way down to the living room where I can hear the tv playing. I leave my suitcase by the end of the stairway and head over to where Sid is sitting on the couch. He looks over at me, but only for a second before turning his attention back to the tv.

"Leaving so soon?" The sarcasm in his voice hurts me. Out of all people, I never would have thought that he would think I'd use him just for a night.

"Umm, yeah I'm just kind of needing some space to think about everything and get my mind straight again."

"And go see Marc?" He asks, a tone to his voice that I'm not liking and a look on his face that I'm not fond of either.

"Yeah, just for a little bit," I reply, wishing he wouldn't be treating me like this. Right now, I don't think I can handle being hurt by him too. "I'll call you when my flight lands?" I ask, hoping like hell he won't back down on our ritual right now. We've always done this since he first started flying, and it just kind of stuck by the time I finally got on a plane.

He looks down at his watch, and then casually looks back at the tv.

"Yeah, I don't know Sam, it will be a late landing. I'll probably already be asleep." And just like that, I feel as if a thousand bricks have just landed on top of me. I know I can't keep it together long, so I make a quick exit.

Sid's POV

"Right," she adds casually with a nod of her head, but I can hear the defeat in the tone of her voice and I know I've hurt her. "Well I'm heading out. Call me sometime," she says while grabbing her suitcase and wheeling it toward the door. I hear the door open and don't say a word until it slowly clicks shut.

And in that moment, I can't decide if I let my ego get in the way of everything I've ever wanted.

Ch. 15

Yes, I'm alive.

Really.

Sam's POV

I wake up the next morning to the sun shining through the window, landing straight on my face. Damn windows... I sigh in frustration before squeezing my eyes shut and snuggling into the bed more, pulling the comforter up around my face. After doing so, I feel someone tighten their grip around my waist, and I automatically freak out and open my eyes, finding myself in Sid's bedroom, and not mine, which makes perfect sense since I don't have any windows that face the sun in the morning... My eyes go wide before I jump out of the bed as quickly as possible. I turn around to look at him, only to find him still out cold. He always has been a hard sleeper.. I continue to stare at him, trying to decipher the difference between what really happened last night and what my mind is telling me happened by the scene in front of me. I realize that I'm freezing cold, and I glance down only to find myself naked. My eyes go wide once again before automatically reaching for the blanket on the bed, the one that Sid had previously been covered up with, and pull it off of him to cover myself. I squeal in surprise and jump from being startled when I find him naked too before throwing the blanket back toward him, which thankfully lands and covers up the majority of his body. Well, at least the parts that needed to be..

I search the floor for the closest piece of clothing and shudder when I realize it's his shirt. I slide it over my head before crawling back on the bed at a very slow pace toward him. I lurk until I'm kneeling on my knees right in front of him, and he's still completely passed out and unaware of my closeness. I sit there, starring at him for what feels like forever. I've looked at Sid many times, but I don't think I've ever noticed him. At least not in the sexual way my eyes are skimming over him now. His hands; looking at them automatically makes me remember the way his light caresses turned into something more passionate last night, marking my hips with bruises that I can feel now as he turned more animal than man in the heat of the moment. His broad shoulders are strong and sturdy, but not so much that I felt fragile in his arms. His abdomen; just looking at his tightly formed six pack, I can't help but reach out and run my fingers across his stomach, watching the way my fingers move over each indentation before my hand gets lower and right to that goody trail that has me biting my lip staring at where the blanket is thankfully strategically placed across him. I shake my head, trying to clear it of all the dirty, raunchy thoughts plaguing it before glancing up at his face; his almost angelic face. His hair is tousled, gel-free much like I love it. Its wild and curling out of control, making me want to run my fingers through it, but afraid to touch him again, thinking that I wouldn't be able to stop. Next my eyes roll over his lips that are formed in the slightest bit of a pout, which makes me smile before glancing up at his closed eyes, knowing that the amber liquid of them would melt me completely if they were opened.

I cross my legs before leaning in a little, sitting there for a while and making sure it's safe, before leaning down even more, to the point that I'm at a dangerously close distance from his face, and I just stare at him. I take a deep breath, smelling in the scent of him before I feel his hand come into contact with my face in a playful slap. My mouth hangs open in shock before I see a sly grin cross his face.


"Get out of my face, freak," he chuckles while rolling over on his side, his body now facing me, as he grabs the covers and pulls them up over his head. I sit there in shock, not because he slapped me, because over the years this is something I've grown accustomed to, but because either he is okay with what happened last night between the two of us, or he is completely unaware of it all.

Sid's POV

She's as timid as she was last night, nothing like her normal self. She's rigid in all of her movements and honestly, it looks as if she could start to cry at any moment with the way her bottom lip is jutting out. After a deep breath, I can see the determination set into her eyes, and for a second I see a glimpse of the old Sam, but only a glimpse. Sure, she looks like the tough girl everyone makes her out to be, but not to me. I know her better.

It's a mask. It has been for a while now. I don't know how I didn't pick up on it before..

I coax her into lying down next to me, much like I did last night, and the second she's in my arms again, her breathing gets deeper and I know she's trying her hardest not to cry in front of me. If only she knew how pointless her little act was with me now.

I know she's putting on a show.

I roll her over so that she's facing me, and I stare at her. I stare at her until I know she sees in my eyes that she's not getting out of this one. That no matter how much she tries to talk her way out of it, I'm not budging. First she begins to chew on her lip, a nervous habit she picked up a long time ago. But it's not under seconds after that I see her eyes begin to fill with tears, but she uses the rest of the strength she has to keep them from falling. I admire her for this.

My tough girl...

I reach out with one of my free hands and lightly brush hair out of her face, and it's then that the first tear falls. I wipe it away before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and that's when she breaks down completely. She lies in my arms, shuddering ever so softly from the tears that are now dripping on my chest.

I sit patiently, waiting for her to exhaust herself just enough to be able to open up to me, to tell me what really happened. She pulls away from me, just enough to look at me and then sits there, wiping at her own tears before I see the determination disappear from her eyes and something softer take it's place.

Sam's POV

I stare at him, wondering how much he's put together in his mind. I left home. I had to. Last night, I was in hysterics, and I'm sure he's figured out that the reason I had to leave home had something to do with it. Either that, or he thinks it's because of Marc.

Marc... The name hits me hard, and suddenly I remember how what I did last night was SO wrong, even though it doesn't feel like it. I continue to stare at Sid, and as cliche as it sounds, I wonder to myself how it can feel so good to be with him like this when I know it's so wrong. I love Marc. I need Sid. Looking at Sid now, I have no idea what I feel for him, but it's much different from what I feel for Marc, but the same all at once. Is it possible to love two different men, in two different ways? Is it possible to need them both?

Only one idea keep replaying in my mind, almost like a broken record, almost making me quake in anticipation of what I knew I would have to do in the future; You can't have them both.

At that point, I knew I would have to choose between them both.

Ch. 14

Yay, you all want to do the co-writing thing. :-) I was worried you guys would be like"omg, what are we.. eleven?" lol I don't know emails or anything.. but we'll get in touch somehow. Naturally we all have to agree on one player.. that will probably be the hard part. So many good ones to choose from! :-)

Okay, so I was excited to post this, so I didn't proof read any of it.. just a heads up. haha

Sid's POV

I'm just about ready to call it quits with the game film when I hear a shriek come from Sam's room. Startled by this, I head for the stairs, but no sooner than when I get to the first one I see her sprinting down them and right into my arms. As she tucks her head under my chin, it's then that I realize how hysterical she is.


"Sam, what's wrong?" I ask, looking up the stairs for some kind of intruder, but finding nothing. I wait for an answer, but she's crying uncontrollably now and I don't think I'll be getting a response from her anytime soon, so I scoop her up in my arms bride-style and make my way up the stairs, her clutching her arms around my neck for dear life. I walk past her bedroom, taking a quick peek inside but not finding anything out of the ordinary; no broken windows, nothing out of place. I continue to head to my bedroom where I attempt to lay her down, but she won't turn loose of me so instead I sit down on the bed myself, cradling her in my arms like one would a smile child.

I sit there, totally unable to think of anything to do to help her, because I have absolutely no idea what's wrong or even what or who did this to her. My first idea would be Marc; and he better not have laid a damn finger on her or we are going to get up close and personal real fast.

As she sits in my lap, cuddling next to me, it's harder than hell for me to not feel the slightest bit satisfied right now with her in my grasp. I love her, she loves him... typical lover's triangle. But I'm the one with the bad luck, I'm the odd man out.. the lone amigo.. the one getting screwed. When her crying has came down to just a sobbing state, I pull her away from my body and look down at her.

"I told him no, I told him no..." she mumbles while frantically shaking her head from side to side. I put my hands on both sides of her head, making her stop long enough to look me in the eyes.


"Who?" I ask, still not really having any idea what has caused the fear I see subsiding in her eyes. "You told who no?" She shakes her head in response, not answering me once again. At this point, I'm honestly getting concerned about her and the situation at hand more and more with every second that passes. She once again lays her head on my shoulder, so I just hold onto her tightly, hoping that for now that's enough. We sit there for who knows how long and one thing runs through my mind; I would give anything to know how to fix this, to fix this broken person that is cradled within my arms, because if there is one person I'd do anything in the world for, it's the tear streaked, slightly disheveled, pain in the ass that is currently driving me slowly insane at the moment. She sniffles, bringing me out of my trance before she pulls back away from me enough to look me in the eyes.


This time, when my eyes meet hers, I don't see the initial fear I had the first time. No, instead the fear is now replaced with what appears to be hurt and pain. I take my thumbs and wipe the tears from her face while she once again shakes her head slowly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.


When they open again one more time, I once again see another emotion cross through them, but this one has my blood racing as her eyes bore into mine.


I take one of my hands and brush her hair out of her face, but no sooner than after I've tucked her hair behind her ear, her hand touches mine, and we both stop all of our movements and just stare at each other. She looks over at where my hand is still slightly touching her face and then back up at me, and then the next thing I know, her lips are softly touching mine.


As she pushes her lips harder to mine, I find myself wrapping one of my hands through her hair and pressing my lips to hers in return. I tell myself that she's with Marc, that this is wrong, but it's as if her lips are coated with crack, her touches electrifying because even though I keep repeatedly telling myself these things, I don't pull away from her and better yet, I don't want to.


It's not that I'm amused or surprised by how mesmerizing her movements are, but it's the fact that I don't seem to have as much self-control as I normally do that is bothering me. Even as our hands get more adventurous with the exploring, I keep trying to tell myself to stop, but then she pulls her t-shirt over her head, exposing herself to my greedy eyes and I find myself not resisting at all as she tugs me on top of her.


Looking down into her eyes, her intent is clear, but I also know that this is more about being comforted than it is about me. With that said, as she pulls my shirt over my head, if this is what she needs from me right now, if this will take her mind off things, I'll do all of this for her, and then put my feelings aside afterwards.

Sam's POV

After all clothing has been shed, I feel myself becoming less tense as his lips touch my neck. And as my legs move to accommodate him and our bodies finally meet, I find myself forgetting about everything besides this right now.

As things continue to escalate, I find my tears reappearing, but for much different reasons than before. I've always known that Sid was one of the nicest people I've ever met, but his movements are so tender, caring, and sweet that I can't help but let a few tears escape my eyes. He looks down at me, but never once judging me.

As I feel myself getting closer to the edge of insanity by his precise movements, a moan escapes my lips that I'm completely helpless from attempting to hold in. As my breathing becomes more rigid, I start to bury my head in his neck again as I can't help but mumble a quiet 'Oh God,' before I feel his hands on both sides of my head, pulling me back and making me look him in the eye. The intensity in his gaze sends a shudder down my spine, but it also gives the silent command to stay with him as we both fall over the edge together.

We both lay there, him still on top of me as we continue to stare at each other, not moving an inch besides the violent rise and fall of ours chests. He sighs before leaning down and kissing my lips softly, his forehead resting on mine before moving toward my shoulder where he rests until both of our breathing has came back to normal. Within this time, I know we are both thinking the same thing. What the hell have we just done?

Ch. 13

Okay, I'm in such an OCD mood right now that I'm literally updating my stories in numerical order by number of followers, because for some strange reason it bothered the hell out of me today to look at my dashboard page and see all the numbers out of order. Weird I know, lmao. Please tell me someone out there has similar situations every now and then... haha

So.. after helping Becky with her last update.. I've decided that co-writing something is actually pretty fun. If anyone would want to be a co-author with me on a story, let me know. We could all just alternate turns with the updates, so it would be pretty stress free. *WRITERS WANTED* Kristina, Aeryn, Becky, Lauren, Jay, Zigh, Heather... hope you all see this! If we could get 7 of us, we could update nightly. That would be so effing awesome. Okay, I'm gonna stop blabbing..if you want to do it leave it in a comment or email me or something. :-)

Sam's POV

It has been 4 months since the day that Marc was waiting for me in the parking lot, and we had been seeing each other regularly since then. I got use to the older women calling me a gold digging whore just for the simple fact that I was nearly 10 years younger than him, but none of that seemed to phase me anymore. There was just something about him that I couldn't exactly place, but then again I never really tried to. I was drawn to him, and I didn't see the need in trying to figure out why. He was one of the most caring, polite, and sexiest men I'd ever saw or came into contact with, so there is no wonder I fell for him.


With that said, I did still question things. Precisely why he wanted me. Women in town much more his age faun over his breath taking smile and cute accent all the time, I've seen it often, but yet I've never once had any indication or reason to think that he was using me or better yet even cheating on me. He always seemed to come home to me, and one better, he seemed to be happy and pleased that I was there waiting for him. He never raised his voice at me, but he didn't treat me like I was 15 either. I think it's that perfect combination of being stern, but respectful at the same time that made me fall for him. And yes, somewhere over the past few months, I had fallen; and hard. As much as it scared the hell out of me to even think about it, I knew that I loved him. He'd never said those three meaningful words to me, and I'd never said them to him, but his eyes could tell me everything and I saw that feeling on more than one occasion and I had to believe that he saw the same in mine. For us, that was enough.


But after the season came to an unexpected end when the Flyers beat us in the second round, things quickly changed. The boys got eliminated five days ago, and Marc blames himself. He's not cold to me, but he's in a rough place right now.


This I can understand.


I grew up around Sid, and he blames his self for things going bad more than any other person I know. For him, me just consoling him as we sat together in silence was always enough. It always seemed to get better like that. Even though we were young then, I had tried that technique on Marc, and it did no good. He hardly slept, which is why he decided to go home for a little while, and I didn't object once. I knew that when his mind was cleared, he'd be back. Until then, I owed it to him to wait patiently.


Wondering if I couldn't at least help Marc through this, I headed over to Sid's to see if I could at least comfort him.

Sid's POV

I'm sitting on the couch with my back facing the door when I hear it open. I'm busy watching tape of the last game, seeing what all I did wrong so I don't bother to look at see who it is. I don't need to anyways.. I know who it is. I figured she'd be showing up sometime soon anyways. I haven't seen a whole lot of her here lately, just when she's stopped by the get clothing and stuff. This is going to sound cruel, but I still find it slightly satisfying that she keeps her stuff here and not at Marc's. She drops a bag on my lap that I recognize right away before she disappears into the kitchen, sticking her head in the refrigerator and coming out with a bottle of ranch dressing before coming back into the living room and plopping down next to me on the couch, propping her feet up next to mine on the coffee table.

"Buffalo Wild Wings?" I ask, pointing to the bag of food that is still sitting in my lap.

"Yes," she replies simply while grabbing for the bag and popping open a very large container of boneless wings.

"You know I can't eat this," I say while shaking my head at her as she squeezes ranch on one and pops it into her mouth. Of course she knows I can't eat this.. it's in the strict diet I follow and she always has been the person that has given me the most crap about that. She eats anything she wants and her body looks fine.. I do that and I get bigger boobs than most ladies.

"It's not in the diet, I know," she responds while grabbing another wing from the container. "But it's the off season now anyways and this is heart-break food and it's a container of 50.. So eat," she says while shoving them my way and passing me the bottle of ranch. I do as told, and automatically feel a little bit relieved.

Sam's POV

We sit in silence as we watch the game, but adding our two sense when we think someone should have done something differently. After watching the game at least 3 times and all of the food is gone, I decide I'm getting tired and make my way up to my room and almost automatically falling asleep after my head hits the pillow.

I run as fast as I can down the hallway and then down the stairs, but I know that my little, short legs are no match for his, but I know it's my best option. He out weighs me by a large majority, and I know that if I had to fend myself from him, it would just come up with him dominating me. One thing I've always been proud about myself is my ability to think quickly under stress or pressure, so I swing my legs over the stairs and jump to the floor below me when I hear him come raging out of the bedroom. I don't know why he's acting like this. Even when he has been drunk before, he's never hit me. Feeling the burn on my left cheek now that is surly red from contact from his fist, I've never been more scared in my life.

I hit the floor below me awkwardly, and I feel my ankle give out, but I'm still running like hell for the basement. If I can get there and lock that door, there is no way that he'd be able to get to me since that is the only door that leads down there and there aren't any windows. After I get the door closed, I hear him pounding on it which has me stepping away as quickly as possible as shock over takes me. I stand there for a minute, not really believing this is happening to me. When I finally snap out of the trance, I reach for me cell phone, and panic when I can't find it. It's then that I remember it falling out of my pocket during my jump from about 25 or so steps.

I'm running my fingers through my hair anxiously, not knowing what to do now when I hear the door whip open. I turn around to see him lurking down the stairs next to me, an evil smile on his face as he walks toward me slowly. I look around for something to use as a source of defense, but I'm too late. He grabs me in his arms, and no matter how hard I try to fight against him he easily positions me underneath him as he starts to violently remove my clothes.

I wake up with a jump, screaming instinctively before jumping out of my bed. I sprint out the door, and am relieved when I see Sid jogging up the stairs, concern written on his face. I hide my head in his chest as his arms wrap around me, the first tears leaking from my eyes.