The End.

Yes, I'm putting this one under the "finished" tab. To me, it just seemed like the perfect ending. BUT I don't want to upset any of my readers that don't feel like this is enough, so... instead of posting an epilogue just yet, I'm going to throw the option of a sequel out there. Throughout the whole story of 'Nothing's Really Ever What It Seems' Sid kind of chased Sam, so I could write another one of their life afterwards if I got enough feedback on it. So.... I'm going to throw a poll up in the sidebar. Orrrrrr... leave a comment and make my day. :)

Ch. 19

Sam's POV

I lay in Marc's arm, cradled against his side as we sit in silence, absentmindedly lightly running my fingernails up and down his arms, a habit of mine. I snuggle up closer to him, wanting to feel that feeling.. the indescribable one I use to get when he held me just like this. I wish and beg for that feeling to come, try and will for it to occur, but I get nothing, as if my heart's gone cold. Although I know it hasn't, because I'm very much alive, and my heart contains a much different feeling inside of it, for a much different man than the one lying next to me. My hand stops moving as an instantaneous shiver runs up my spine. My eyes cloud with water as I realize that another man holds that feeling now..

Marc notices how I tense up and shifts in response to reposition us. He clears his throat before speaking.

"Sam?" he asks timidly. I close my eyes, trying to get my thoughts together before I look up at him, seeing his eyes are filled with tears as well. He looks down at me, pain clear in his eyes. "It's him, isn't it." I stare up at him, not knowing what to do. I open my mouth up to speak, but nothing comes out. "You love him."

I sit there, looking at him for what feels like hours, running everything though my head before finally speaking up. "I'm so sorry, Marc," I answer in a small voice, tears finally pouring from my eyes. He gives me a single nod, confirming he's heard me before taking a deep sigh, kissing me on the head, and getting up out of the bed, leaving me in the room alone to cry myself to sleep.

Sid's POV

For the fourth night in a row, I drown my sorrows in a bottle of JD while watching late night TV. I know it's probably not the healthiest way to get over her, but it's the offseason, and I'm not concerned with being healthy at the moment. My eyes have dark circles around them from the lack of sleep I've been getting, but I can't force myself to try and get some rest. Every time I close my eyes her image haunts my dreams, leaving me restless and therefore doing me no more good than watching this old, pathetic 80s game show. I hear the doorbell ring and automatically look at the clock to confirm that it's after 2 AM. Tipping back my last gulp of liquor, I set my cup down on the coffee table before slowly getting up and making my way toward the door. As soon as I open it and see her standing there, I automatically go to shut it, but her reflexes are too good and she beats me to it, opening the door all the way back up and walking in, so I turn and walk back toward the couch, deciding I have nothing to say.

"Sidney?" she asks, knowing I won't answer in return. I fumble back into the living room, looking for the remote before heading back toward the couch. "Sid?" she calls again, and this time I look at her, let her see the pain and agony in my eyes. She knows me well, notices this and it causes her lips to fall silent. But she's stubborn, and I know she's not done with me yet. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"What's wrong? Do you really have to ask?" I scoff, watching her walk her way towards me. She reaches out for me, but I shy away.

"Sid," she asks again in pleading eyes. I stare right back at her, anger seeping out of my gaze.

"I love you," I answer, not breaking our eye contact. "Loved," I add with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Loved?" she questions.

"Yeah Samantha, loved," I reiterate. "I don't know when it happened, or why it happened, the fact is I've loved you for a long time, I don't know when it started." I add, sitting back and thinking about it for myself. "Maybe it was that time we were skating on the pond and you hit thin ice and me and Jack pulled you out, maybe it was when you let us talk you into thinking climbing that tree was a good idea, or maybe it was when strapped pillows to you with duct tape and you were our goalie, I don't know," I say with a sigh, thinking back on how many good times her, Jack, and I had. "I'm not sure. The days are a blur, but I remember you. And how you've always been a pain in my ass, even to this day. And you're crazy, most of the time. And you can be wrong a lot of the times and you definitely know how to drive me completely crazy. But I've realized that I need you. That I trust you. That I admire you. That yes, I love you, Sam." I finished before looking into her eyes one last time before sitting back down on the couch and turning my back to her. After a few seconds, I hear her sniffling.

"I'm wrong most of the time?" she asks. I can't help myself, I turn over my shoulder and look and her and nod my head. "I'm not wrong about you," she continues, walking toward me while tears run down her face before sitting down across from me on the coffee table. "I love you, too."

The End.

Ch. 18

I've never written a story with a cheater in it, and I'm not quite sure how you all are handling it compared to my other stories. But.. don't hate Sam. Puh-lease.. don't hate Sam. That's all I ask. :)

AND.. after half a night, the vote has spoken for itself. :/

Sam's POV

He stares at me before walking inside, leaving the door open. I follow, closing it behind me only to find him no where. I walk into the living room, which is dark, and find him sitting on the couch bent forward with his hands on his knees, staring at nothing in particular.

"Marc?" I ask, but he doesn't respond.

I walk around, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him, feeling very small and insignificant.

"What do you mean you fucked up?" He asks in an eerily calm voice.

"Marc, I love you. So, so, so, so much. You know that, right?"

"What did you do, Samantha?" He asks in a tone that feels much like the one my mother uses.

"Do you want to know like reasonings, or do you just want it short and sweet?" I ask, trying my hardest to put this off. I'm scared because I don't know how he's going to take it, or to react. He could not want anything to do with me, and rightfully so. What scares me even more is I'm not sure what reaction I want; I'm not sure if I want him to give me a second chance, or throw me out on the streets.

"Like ripping off a bandaid," he snarls, reminding me of the saying we always use toward one anther, making me feel like the worst piece of shit person in the world. I sigh, bracing myself for a nasty response.

"I slept with Sid," I murmur in a barely audible whisper while shutting my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. I sit there for about 10 seconds before looking up into his burning eyes. He's absolutely livid. He gets up and starts pacing around the room, almost for so long that I don't know if I should just get up and leave or not.

"How long ago?" he prompts, never once standing still. And this I know will be the big kicker right here... I have every right to be treated poorly I keep reminding myself.

"A couple nights ago," I cringe, waiting and gauging his reaction.

"Que l'enfer, Sam? Comment pourriez-vous me faire ca!" He yells, switching to his native tongue just like he always does when he's frustrated, while knocking a vase off of the table he's close to. He then turns his attention to the chair next to him and hurls it across the room. Unfortunately for me, I can't understand anything he's saying. He recognizes this and looks at me with condescending eyes. "You told me you never felt anything for him. That you didn't feel anything for him in here," he continues while reaching for his chest, anger replaced by a painful expression only for a glimpse second.

"I don't," I start, but then know that isn't completely true. "Or I didn't, I don't know," I cry out before getting up and trying to walk towards him. "I'm so sorry I did this to you Marc, you've been there for me for so many different things," I add while reaching out for him, only for him to shy away from me.

"What do you want?" he simply asks.

"What?"

"What. Do. You. Want. Sam?" he reiterates, looking at me intensely. "What do you want?!" he practically shouts across the room after I don't respond.

"I... I love you, Marc," I tell him, starting to cry, because even though I have all these emotions in my head, it is a true statement. I do love Marc. So much. But suddenly, I'm doubting everything I've ever done. I see a glimmer of hope flash through his eyes and I see his mood lighten a little, but not enough to completely ease my feeling of anxiety.

He walks toward me then, not at a slow pace, but at a hungry pace until he presses his lips to mine, momentarily stealing my breath away, just like he always does. He forcefully backs me up until I'm up against the back of the couch, which he picks me up and puts me on. He takes my shirt off, throwing it to the side before his lips work their way down my neck.

"He never touches you again," he states, almost painfully holding into my wrist. "Do you understand me?"

I mutely nod my head, waiting for his next move. As if predicted, he reaches for the top button of my jeans and undoes it before my panties follow suit. I've never seen Marc act this way before, but it has me more than a little turned on. He undoes his pants, sending them to the floor before he rips me off the couch and carries me into the adjacent bedroom before tossing me onto the bed, his body quickly following mine.

His movements are forceful and rigid, taking my body to the extreme measures he's learned to reach so long ago. My body is reacting to his just as it should; he's doing all the right things. But his harsh movements have me thinking of a much more gentle touch, his controlling nature making me think of a much more giving gesture, and much more importantly, his dark, brooding eyes have me thinking of a lighter, caramel colored pair.

Ch. 17

I'm slowly trying to give all my readers (that have waited for about a year now, if you are still out there) an ending to all of these stories I've started. I'm finishing them one by one, so if you want one finished next, voice your opinion and I'll see what I can do.

Sam's POV

It's not until I'm on my red eye flight back and all of my fellow travelers eyes' close that I let a couple tears slide down my face. I had never seen Sid be so cold hearted to anybody in my life; not even a member to a member from the Flyers. Now granted, yes, there were mixed emotions running all over the place. First and foremost, I loved Marc. After a few short months, I fell much harder than I ever had for any other man. He was more accepting of me than I had ever asked or even deserved, and because of this I felt ashamed that I was often humiliated by the crude and harsh comments people made about our age difference. To me, ten years felt like nothing, but apparently to the hockey community, it was a crime.

And then after all of this, there is Sid. For the first time, I'm catching on to how he really feels about me. I would be a fool if I couldn't see the passion in his eyes in the special moment we spent together the past night. But then all of this led me to thinking about what I really felt, and if I believed in what my mind was telling me. It's almost as if I finally caught on to how I felt for Sid as well, almost like I always felt this way for him, and I was too far in denial to try and come to my senses. But if I could push this feeling aside for as many years as it took to surface, then was it really a feeling worth fighting for?

I shake my head, knowing that when I have to tell Marc, the man that I love more than anything, about the events that took place between Sid and I, I can only cringe. And this makes me realize that what I feel for Marc is not even comparable to what I feel for Sid. But that is the whole problem, right?

If only it were easy enough to be able to compare the two men that have both semi-stolen my heart, I would be able to rule out one or the other. But both men are completely different, treat me completely differently, and make my feel differently about myself.

In no time at all my flight is landing, and it is raining as if almost to set the tone for my glum mood. I grab a cab and only confuse myself more as my mind can only think of Sid while I'm on my way to go see Marc.

I think the worst part of this whole situation is that nobody feels sorry for me; not that I need any kind of sympathy, but I'm that dumb dame in the love story that everyone hates throughout the whole movie, because it's my fault I slept with both of them, it's my fault I can't pick, and it's my fault that I fell in love with two completely differently, similarly amazing men.

Marc peek's his head out of the curtain hanging in the living room window, almost as if sensing my arrival. He smiles at me, and for a second my heart flutters, but then it is overcome with guilt and I know I'm the worst person in the world for doing what I've done to him.

Marc's POV

She arrives, slowly getting out of her cab while I grab her bags and pay the cab driver. I set off towards the house at a jog, trying to get out of the rain. I get all the way to the steps before I notice she's not with me and turn around, only to find her just standing still, letting the rain get her drenched.

"Sam, come on," I yell while gesturing for her to follow. I thought that after losing the series I would need space from her, but come to find out as soon as I got up here, all I wanted was for her to make it better. She nods her head slowly, and then comes toward me. When she finally reaches me, I drop her bags and pull her in for a tight hug, not minding at all that I'm still getting wet from the rain. "I've missed you," I tell her sincerely, pressing my lips to hers hungrily. Her lips are motionless at first, but I slowly get them to begin moving with mine, and then suddenly hockey is the last thing on my mind. She pulls away, sighing before looking me in the eyes and it's then that for the first time, I see the panic in them.

"I've missed you too," she says while shaking her head. "You have no idea how much I love you," she declares. I shake my head, not knowing where this is coming from.

"I love you too, baby," I confirm through a smile, my pocket suddenly getting heavier as I get more anxious to pull yesterday's purchase out. But I have it all planned out, and I want this to be special.

"I fucked up."

And there it is. Three little words that have my heart pounding.

Ch. 16

Sam's POV

I gather my thoughts for a second and wipe the tears from my eyes before timidly getting into the conversation I was trying to put off.

"I told him no," I whisper softly, adverting my eyes anywhere besides his.

"You told who no?" I can hear the frustration in his voice. It's as if he's trying his very best not to just grab me by my shoulders and give me a good shake. "If it was Marc, I swear I'll--"

"No, it wasn't Marc," I snap back at him, glaring at him and finally looking at him for the first time since I started talking. "I love him," I announce, and suddenly wish I didn't as I see him wince slightly, but not say anything. It is then that I know for sure that last night did actually happen, and there is no getting around that. "He loves me," I add, trying to make my last statement less bold. "He would never do anything to hurt me."

"Well than who?" He questions angrily, and I can't blame him. "What were they trying to do to you?

"Do you remember a couple of years ago when my parents sent me down here to stay with you?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do--?" he starts, but I interrupt him.

"Just answer the question, Sid."

"Yes," he sighs. "How could I forget."

"Do you remember why I had to come stay with you?" I press on.

"Because your parents said you were an unruly brat," he laughs, and I have to admit, he makes me smile a little. "No, I'm kidding. Your parents said you had a run in with a couple of people up there, right..?"

"Yes." I state simply. He squishes his face and raises his eyebrow in a way that says continue. "Do you remember Josh?", I continue, because I'm just ready to get this over with. He sits there puzzled, and I know that means his answer is probably a no. "From Juniors?"

"Oh, yeah," he replies, not sure where this is going. "Haven't heard from him in a long time. What's he up to?"

"Like I give a shit what he's doing," I mumble under my breath. Sid catches what I say, and just gives me a puzzled look. I sit silently, shuddering at the single memory of that one moment, and the tears start falling again. Sid sits there silently as well, completely puzzled.

"He raped me," I say in so quiet of a voice it's almost inaudible. I glance up at his face, just to make sure he's heard me. I know he did as I watch the realization hit his face as it changes from frustrated to pure rage. He opens his mouth about three times to try and talk to me, but closes them all three times as I just sit there and let the tears silently roll down my face.

"And I tried to tell him no," I stammer. "I did, I tried, but he was just too big for me, and I couldn't fight him off." I don't need to go into detail any further, because he's already got me wrapped in his strong arms, and suddenly I'm not as afraid as I was before and the bad feeling goes away. I sit there and continue to cry, and he just holds me. Finally he speaks up.

"Does your brother know?"

"No," I scoff. "Are you kidding me? He would have freaked out way too much. The last thing I needed was him getting thrown in jail for murder. I needed him. "

"Well, obviously your parents knew, right?"

"Yeah, they wanted me to press charges, but I had no proof. And I didn't want to make it into a big deal. So that's when we came up with the idea of me coming to live with you. I had to get away," I reply. "They knew you would take care of me," I add in a low voice. He smirks, but I can tell there is something else on his mind.

"And Marc?" And there it is. I knew he would make it about the two of them.

"Yes, Marc knows. Why wouldn't he know?! He is my boyfriend, after all."

Sid's POV

It stings, the way she so casually drops the "b" word after everything that has happened here. In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a possibility that she would go back to him. Bt now, I'm just not quite sure where that leaves me or how I'm going to deal with losing her so shortly after realizing that I wanted her in the first place.

"And besides, he's been present for more than a few of my night terrors," she adds in a softer tone, as if trying to make the let down easier.

"Of course," I reply, nodding my head and trying not to make her feel as bad.

"Thank you for being there for me last night, Sid," she says politely while standing up and lightly kissing my cheek and then leaving.

Needing to clear my head, I hop into the shower. I let the hot water pour over my body for a good 15 minutes and then decide that I can't avoid her any longer. I still have a few things I need to get off of my chest, and then if she still choses Marc I'll at least know that I tried. I quickly get dressed and then head out of my bedroom, but stop just short of the guest bedroom that Sam was staying in. I can hear her on the phone, obviously talking to Marc.

"I know you need some space to get over everything, but do you think you could use a visitor?"

--------

"I know...."

--------

"It's just that, I really need to see you," she sobs out. "I need you right now. I need you to make it better like you always do."

And that's all I need to hear. That's enough to leave a sting in my chest for a while, so I walk right past her door and down the stairs and fall onto the couch and turn the tv on. About ten minutes later I hear her coming down the stairs as well, with her suitcase in tow.

Sam's POV

I gather my things and then make my way down to the living room where I can hear the tv playing. I leave my suitcase by the end of the stairway and head over to where Sid is sitting on the couch. He looks over at me, but only for a second before turning his attention back to the tv.

"Leaving so soon?" The sarcasm in his voice hurts me. Out of all people, I never would have thought that he would think I'd use him just for a night.

"Umm, yeah I'm just kind of needing some space to think about everything and get my mind straight again."

"And go see Marc?" He asks, a tone to his voice that I'm not liking and a look on his face that I'm not fond of either.

"Yeah, just for a little bit," I reply, wishing he wouldn't be treating me like this. Right now, I don't think I can handle being hurt by him too. "I'll call you when my flight lands?" I ask, hoping like hell he won't back down on our ritual right now. We've always done this since he first started flying, and it just kind of stuck by the time I finally got on a plane.

He looks down at his watch, and then casually looks back at the tv.

"Yeah, I don't know Sam, it will be a late landing. I'll probably already be asleep." And just like that, I feel as if a thousand bricks have just landed on top of me. I know I can't keep it together long, so I make a quick exit.

Sid's POV

"Right," she adds casually with a nod of her head, but I can hear the defeat in the tone of her voice and I know I've hurt her. "Well I'm heading out. Call me sometime," she says while grabbing her suitcase and wheeling it toward the door. I hear the door open and don't say a word until it slowly clicks shut.

And in that moment, I can't decide if I let my ego get in the way of everything I've ever wanted.

Ch. 15

Yes, I'm alive.

Really.

Sam's POV

I wake up the next morning to the sun shining through the window, landing straight on my face. Damn windows... I sigh in frustration before squeezing my eyes shut and snuggling into the bed more, pulling the comforter up around my face. After doing so, I feel someone tighten their grip around my waist, and I automatically freak out and open my eyes, finding myself in Sid's bedroom, and not mine, which makes perfect sense since I don't have any windows that face the sun in the morning... My eyes go wide before I jump out of the bed as quickly as possible. I turn around to look at him, only to find him still out cold. He always has been a hard sleeper.. I continue to stare at him, trying to decipher the difference between what really happened last night and what my mind is telling me happened by the scene in front of me. I realize that I'm freezing cold, and I glance down only to find myself naked. My eyes go wide once again before automatically reaching for the blanket on the bed, the one that Sid had previously been covered up with, and pull it off of him to cover myself. I squeal in surprise and jump from being startled when I find him naked too before throwing the blanket back toward him, which thankfully lands and covers up the majority of his body. Well, at least the parts that needed to be..

I search the floor for the closest piece of clothing and shudder when I realize it's his shirt. I slide it over my head before crawling back on the bed at a very slow pace toward him. I lurk until I'm kneeling on my knees right in front of him, and he's still completely passed out and unaware of my closeness. I sit there, starring at him for what feels like forever. I've looked at Sid many times, but I don't think I've ever noticed him. At least not in the sexual way my eyes are skimming over him now. His hands; looking at them automatically makes me remember the way his light caresses turned into something more passionate last night, marking my hips with bruises that I can feel now as he turned more animal than man in the heat of the moment. His broad shoulders are strong and sturdy, but not so much that I felt fragile in his arms. His abdomen; just looking at his tightly formed six pack, I can't help but reach out and run my fingers across his stomach, watching the way my fingers move over each indentation before my hand gets lower and right to that goody trail that has me biting my lip staring at where the blanket is thankfully strategically placed across him. I shake my head, trying to clear it of all the dirty, raunchy thoughts plaguing it before glancing up at his face; his almost angelic face. His hair is tousled, gel-free much like I love it. Its wild and curling out of control, making me want to run my fingers through it, but afraid to touch him again, thinking that I wouldn't be able to stop. Next my eyes roll over his lips that are formed in the slightest bit of a pout, which makes me smile before glancing up at his closed eyes, knowing that the amber liquid of them would melt me completely if they were opened.

I cross my legs before leaning in a little, sitting there for a while and making sure it's safe, before leaning down even more, to the point that I'm at a dangerously close distance from his face, and I just stare at him. I take a deep breath, smelling in the scent of him before I feel his hand come into contact with my face in a playful slap. My mouth hangs open in shock before I see a sly grin cross his face.


"Get out of my face, freak," he chuckles while rolling over on his side, his body now facing me, as he grabs the covers and pulls them up over his head. I sit there in shock, not because he slapped me, because over the years this is something I've grown accustomed to, but because either he is okay with what happened last night between the two of us, or he is completely unaware of it all.

Sid's POV

She's as timid as she was last night, nothing like her normal self. She's rigid in all of her movements and honestly, it looks as if she could start to cry at any moment with the way her bottom lip is jutting out. After a deep breath, I can see the determination set into her eyes, and for a second I see a glimpse of the old Sam, but only a glimpse. Sure, she looks like the tough girl everyone makes her out to be, but not to me. I know her better.

It's a mask. It has been for a while now. I don't know how I didn't pick up on it before..

I coax her into lying down next to me, much like I did last night, and the second she's in my arms again, her breathing gets deeper and I know she's trying her hardest not to cry in front of me. If only she knew how pointless her little act was with me now.

I know she's putting on a show.

I roll her over so that she's facing me, and I stare at her. I stare at her until I know she sees in my eyes that she's not getting out of this one. That no matter how much she tries to talk her way out of it, I'm not budging. First she begins to chew on her lip, a nervous habit she picked up a long time ago. But it's not under seconds after that I see her eyes begin to fill with tears, but she uses the rest of the strength she has to keep them from falling. I admire her for this.

My tough girl...

I reach out with one of my free hands and lightly brush hair out of her face, and it's then that the first tear falls. I wipe it away before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, and that's when she breaks down completely. She lies in my arms, shuddering ever so softly from the tears that are now dripping on my chest.

I sit patiently, waiting for her to exhaust herself just enough to be able to open up to me, to tell me what really happened. She pulls away from me, just enough to look at me and then sits there, wiping at her own tears before I see the determination disappear from her eyes and something softer take it's place.

Sam's POV

I stare at him, wondering how much he's put together in his mind. I left home. I had to. Last night, I was in hysterics, and I'm sure he's figured out that the reason I had to leave home had something to do with it. Either that, or he thinks it's because of Marc.

Marc... The name hits me hard, and suddenly I remember how what I did last night was SO wrong, even though it doesn't feel like it. I continue to stare at Sid, and as cliche as it sounds, I wonder to myself how it can feel so good to be with him like this when I know it's so wrong. I love Marc. I need Sid. Looking at Sid now, I have no idea what I feel for him, but it's much different from what I feel for Marc, but the same all at once. Is it possible to love two different men, in two different ways? Is it possible to need them both?

Only one idea keep replaying in my mind, almost like a broken record, almost making me quake in anticipation of what I knew I would have to do in the future; You can't have them both.

At that point, I knew I would have to choose between them both.

Ch. 14

Yay, you all want to do the co-writing thing. :-) I was worried you guys would be like"omg, what are we.. eleven?" lol I don't know emails or anything.. but we'll get in touch somehow. Naturally we all have to agree on one player.. that will probably be the hard part. So many good ones to choose from! :-)

Okay, so I was excited to post this, so I didn't proof read any of it.. just a heads up. haha

Sid's POV

I'm just about ready to call it quits with the game film when I hear a shriek come from Sam's room. Startled by this, I head for the stairs, but no sooner than when I get to the first one I see her sprinting down them and right into my arms. As she tucks her head under my chin, it's then that I realize how hysterical she is.


"Sam, what's wrong?" I ask, looking up the stairs for some kind of intruder, but finding nothing. I wait for an answer, but she's crying uncontrollably now and I don't think I'll be getting a response from her anytime soon, so I scoop her up in my arms bride-style and make my way up the stairs, her clutching her arms around my neck for dear life. I walk past her bedroom, taking a quick peek inside but not finding anything out of the ordinary; no broken windows, nothing out of place. I continue to head to my bedroom where I attempt to lay her down, but she won't turn loose of me so instead I sit down on the bed myself, cradling her in my arms like one would a smile child.

I sit there, totally unable to think of anything to do to help her, because I have absolutely no idea what's wrong or even what or who did this to her. My first idea would be Marc; and he better not have laid a damn finger on her or we are going to get up close and personal real fast.

As she sits in my lap, cuddling next to me, it's harder than hell for me to not feel the slightest bit satisfied right now with her in my grasp. I love her, she loves him... typical lover's triangle. But I'm the one with the bad luck, I'm the odd man out.. the lone amigo.. the one getting screwed. When her crying has came down to just a sobbing state, I pull her away from my body and look down at her.

"I told him no, I told him no..." she mumbles while frantically shaking her head from side to side. I put my hands on both sides of her head, making her stop long enough to look me in the eyes.


"Who?" I ask, still not really having any idea what has caused the fear I see subsiding in her eyes. "You told who no?" She shakes her head in response, not answering me once again. At this point, I'm honestly getting concerned about her and the situation at hand more and more with every second that passes. She once again lays her head on my shoulder, so I just hold onto her tightly, hoping that for now that's enough. We sit there for who knows how long and one thing runs through my mind; I would give anything to know how to fix this, to fix this broken person that is cradled within my arms, because if there is one person I'd do anything in the world for, it's the tear streaked, slightly disheveled, pain in the ass that is currently driving me slowly insane at the moment. She sniffles, bringing me out of my trance before she pulls back away from me enough to look me in the eyes.


This time, when my eyes meet hers, I don't see the initial fear I had the first time. No, instead the fear is now replaced with what appears to be hurt and pain. I take my thumbs and wipe the tears from her face while she once again shakes her head slowly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.


When they open again one more time, I once again see another emotion cross through them, but this one has my blood racing as her eyes bore into mine.


I take one of my hands and brush her hair out of her face, but no sooner than after I've tucked her hair behind her ear, her hand touches mine, and we both stop all of our movements and just stare at each other. She looks over at where my hand is still slightly touching her face and then back up at me, and then the next thing I know, her lips are softly touching mine.


As she pushes her lips harder to mine, I find myself wrapping one of my hands through her hair and pressing my lips to hers in return. I tell myself that she's with Marc, that this is wrong, but it's as if her lips are coated with crack, her touches electrifying because even though I keep repeatedly telling myself these things, I don't pull away from her and better yet, I don't want to.


It's not that I'm amused or surprised by how mesmerizing her movements are, but it's the fact that I don't seem to have as much self-control as I normally do that is bothering me. Even as our hands get more adventurous with the exploring, I keep trying to tell myself to stop, but then she pulls her t-shirt over her head, exposing herself to my greedy eyes and I find myself not resisting at all as she tugs me on top of her.


Looking down into her eyes, her intent is clear, but I also know that this is more about being comforted than it is about me. With that said, as she pulls my shirt over my head, if this is what she needs from me right now, if this will take her mind off things, I'll do all of this for her, and then put my feelings aside afterwards.

Sam's POV

After all clothing has been shed, I feel myself becoming less tense as his lips touch my neck. And as my legs move to accommodate him and our bodies finally meet, I find myself forgetting about everything besides this right now.

As things continue to escalate, I find my tears reappearing, but for much different reasons than before. I've always known that Sid was one of the nicest people I've ever met, but his movements are so tender, caring, and sweet that I can't help but let a few tears escape my eyes. He looks down at me, but never once judging me.

As I feel myself getting closer to the edge of insanity by his precise movements, a moan escapes my lips that I'm completely helpless from attempting to hold in. As my breathing becomes more rigid, I start to bury my head in his neck again as I can't help but mumble a quiet 'Oh God,' before I feel his hands on both sides of my head, pulling me back and making me look him in the eye. The intensity in his gaze sends a shudder down my spine, but it also gives the silent command to stay with him as we both fall over the edge together.

We both lay there, him still on top of me as we continue to stare at each other, not moving an inch besides the violent rise and fall of ours chests. He sighs before leaning down and kissing my lips softly, his forehead resting on mine before moving toward my shoulder where he rests until both of our breathing has came back to normal. Within this time, I know we are both thinking the same thing. What the hell have we just done?

Ch. 13

Okay, I'm in such an OCD mood right now that I'm literally updating my stories in numerical order by number of followers, because for some strange reason it bothered the hell out of me today to look at my dashboard page and see all the numbers out of order. Weird I know, lmao. Please tell me someone out there has similar situations every now and then... haha

So.. after helping Becky with her last update.. I've decided that co-writing something is actually pretty fun. If anyone would want to be a co-author with me on a story, let me know. We could all just alternate turns with the updates, so it would be pretty stress free. *WRITERS WANTED* Kristina, Aeryn, Becky, Lauren, Jay, Zigh, Heather... hope you all see this! If we could get 7 of us, we could update nightly. That would be so effing awesome. Okay, I'm gonna stop blabbing..if you want to do it leave it in a comment or email me or something. :-)

Sam's POV

It has been 4 months since the day that Marc was waiting for me in the parking lot, and we had been seeing each other regularly since then. I got use to the older women calling me a gold digging whore just for the simple fact that I was nearly 10 years younger than him, but none of that seemed to phase me anymore. There was just something about him that I couldn't exactly place, but then again I never really tried to. I was drawn to him, and I didn't see the need in trying to figure out why. He was one of the most caring, polite, and sexiest men I'd ever saw or came into contact with, so there is no wonder I fell for him.


With that said, I did still question things. Precisely why he wanted me. Women in town much more his age faun over his breath taking smile and cute accent all the time, I've seen it often, but yet I've never once had any indication or reason to think that he was using me or better yet even cheating on me. He always seemed to come home to me, and one better, he seemed to be happy and pleased that I was there waiting for him. He never raised his voice at me, but he didn't treat me like I was 15 either. I think it's that perfect combination of being stern, but respectful at the same time that made me fall for him. And yes, somewhere over the past few months, I had fallen; and hard. As much as it scared the hell out of me to even think about it, I knew that I loved him. He'd never said those three meaningful words to me, and I'd never said them to him, but his eyes could tell me everything and I saw that feeling on more than one occasion and I had to believe that he saw the same in mine. For us, that was enough.


But after the season came to an unexpected end when the Flyers beat us in the second round, things quickly changed. The boys got eliminated five days ago, and Marc blames himself. He's not cold to me, but he's in a rough place right now.


This I can understand.


I grew up around Sid, and he blames his self for things going bad more than any other person I know. For him, me just consoling him as we sat together in silence was always enough. It always seemed to get better like that. Even though we were young then, I had tried that technique on Marc, and it did no good. He hardly slept, which is why he decided to go home for a little while, and I didn't object once. I knew that when his mind was cleared, he'd be back. Until then, I owed it to him to wait patiently.


Wondering if I couldn't at least help Marc through this, I headed over to Sid's to see if I could at least comfort him.

Sid's POV

I'm sitting on the couch with my back facing the door when I hear it open. I'm busy watching tape of the last game, seeing what all I did wrong so I don't bother to look at see who it is. I don't need to anyways.. I know who it is. I figured she'd be showing up sometime soon anyways. I haven't seen a whole lot of her here lately, just when she's stopped by the get clothing and stuff. This is going to sound cruel, but I still find it slightly satisfying that she keeps her stuff here and not at Marc's. She drops a bag on my lap that I recognize right away before she disappears into the kitchen, sticking her head in the refrigerator and coming out with a bottle of ranch dressing before coming back into the living room and plopping down next to me on the couch, propping her feet up next to mine on the coffee table.

"Buffalo Wild Wings?" I ask, pointing to the bag of food that is still sitting in my lap.

"Yes," she replies simply while grabbing for the bag and popping open a very large container of boneless wings.

"You know I can't eat this," I say while shaking my head at her as she squeezes ranch on one and pops it into her mouth. Of course she knows I can't eat this.. it's in the strict diet I follow and she always has been the person that has given me the most crap about that. She eats anything she wants and her body looks fine.. I do that and I get bigger boobs than most ladies.

"It's not in the diet, I know," she responds while grabbing another wing from the container. "But it's the off season now anyways and this is heart-break food and it's a container of 50.. So eat," she says while shoving them my way and passing me the bottle of ranch. I do as told, and automatically feel a little bit relieved.

Sam's POV

We sit in silence as we watch the game, but adding our two sense when we think someone should have done something differently. After watching the game at least 3 times and all of the food is gone, I decide I'm getting tired and make my way up to my room and almost automatically falling asleep after my head hits the pillow.

I run as fast as I can down the hallway and then down the stairs, but I know that my little, short legs are no match for his, but I know it's my best option. He out weighs me by a large majority, and I know that if I had to fend myself from him, it would just come up with him dominating me. One thing I've always been proud about myself is my ability to think quickly under stress or pressure, so I swing my legs over the stairs and jump to the floor below me when I hear him come raging out of the bedroom. I don't know why he's acting like this. Even when he has been drunk before, he's never hit me. Feeling the burn on my left cheek now that is surly red from contact from his fist, I've never been more scared in my life.

I hit the floor below me awkwardly, and I feel my ankle give out, but I'm still running like hell for the basement. If I can get there and lock that door, there is no way that he'd be able to get to me since that is the only door that leads down there and there aren't any windows. After I get the door closed, I hear him pounding on it which has me stepping away as quickly as possible as shock over takes me. I stand there for a minute, not really believing this is happening to me. When I finally snap out of the trance, I reach for me cell phone, and panic when I can't find it. It's then that I remember it falling out of my pocket during my jump from about 25 or so steps.

I'm running my fingers through my hair anxiously, not knowing what to do now when I hear the door whip open. I turn around to see him lurking down the stairs next to me, an evil smile on his face as he walks toward me slowly. I look around for something to use as a source of defense, but I'm too late. He grabs me in his arms, and no matter how hard I try to fight against him he easily positions me underneath him as he starts to violently remove my clothes.

I wake up with a jump, screaming instinctively before jumping out of my bed. I sprint out the door, and am relieved when I see Sid jogging up the stairs, concern written on his face. I hide my head in his chest as his arms wrap around me, the first tears leaking from my eyes.

Ch. 12

Ugh.. I feel horrible for the lack of updates, truly. I thought I had this all planned out on who would end up with who.. but now it turns out I'm just as indecisive as you're comments have been. Oh, the tragedy! lol Short update.. and I swear, I'll make up my mind soon and post more. Well, I guess I'll really be making up my mind again, but I'll stick to my decision this time, promise! :-)

Sam's POV

It happened like it did any morning he had a skate to go to.. He opened my bedroom door, never taking a step closer.. I guess he learned his lesson quickly after his first encounter with me in the morning what felt like forever ago. So instead of taking a step anywhere near me or my bed, he throws whatever he finds closest, this flying object of mass destruction hitting me somewhere in the leg/butt area, jolting me out of the peaceful sleep I had been in. I roll over, only to see him smiling, which my only response is to mumble my normal 'What the hell, Sid..' before flipping him off and hiding my head under my pillow as he laughs on his way down the hallway.

I finally drag myself out of bed, getting ready in about 5 minutes, because I know that's all the time I have. On my way out the door, I grab my cell phone off of the charger and grab the wad of cash on my dresser, shoving it in my pocket on my way to make it downstairs frantically.

Just as I come to the bottom of the step, he's checking his watch, probably about to leave me no doubt.. he sees me running toward him and rolls his eyes at me before chunking a package of pop tarts in my direction. I catch them on the run before grabbing my shoes that are by the door. That's another discussion we have frequently. He adamantly tells me to take them up to my room, keep them with the rest of my stuff and I reply by telling him it's more user friendly and well thought out to leave them by the door, because I'm obviously only going to need them when I'm going through it. He either sighs deeply in frustration or rolls his eyes at me, something he does all the time.

As I'm running out the door to hop in his car before he pulls out, I am multi-tasking by holding my pop tart bag in my mouth, running... okay more like hopping, and trying to pull my shoes on all at once. I look up just in time to see him shaking his head at me as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to be patient but failing miserably. I slide into the car, and mere seconds later he's pulling out of the driveway, trying to make up for the 'lost time' I've caused him.

"I swear, 5 seconds later and I would have been leaving your ass at home," he says while shaking his head at me. I glance at the clock, and just roll my eyes back at him.

"Sid," I sigh, getting his attention before I point at the clock, his eyes following the direction my finger is pointing. "It's 8:17. Morning skate starts at 9:30."

"I always get there early, you know that. Could you just, oh I don't know, try setting your alarm for once?" he replies sarcastically.

"Oh shut up, you like having an excuse to be all irritated with me and throw stuff at me anyways," I say while reaching up and changing the radio station, something he absolutely hates, but I do it everyday anyways, only for him to sit there for maybe two seconds, just long enough for me to get my hands back at my sides before he changes it back. Eventually, I start talking about some random topic to distract him and change it again, only to have him refocus minutes later and change it back. It's part of our morning routine, however crazy that sounds.

"It does let me relieve some tension," he says while a small smile.

"Oh I know that, and so does my ass," I say while lightly touching the tender spot on the side of my hip that I already know is bruising from this morning. "I'd appreciate it if you'd find something softer to throw.. a pillow maybe, because seriously, you've got to be running out of random remote controls anytime now."

"Hey, I still can't turn on my surround sound you know," he says while looking over at me and eyeing the pop tart I'm about to put into my mouth. I offer him some, but he just shakes his head no before continuing. "It's been about two weeks now, you would think you could give it back now."

Sid's POV

I'm so superstitious of a person that I like routines.. luckily for me, she's so stubborn that she does the same things every morning just to get on my nerves, and it would.. if it wasn't all part of the routine.

"I need it," she says while shrugging her shoulders, continuing to shove her pop tart in her mouth, getting crumbs all over the middle console of my car in the process.

"For what," I sigh, reaching over and wiping the crumbs off and onto the floor. "And you're going to vacuum that out," I say while pointing to where they are resting on the gray floorboard. "Hey, at least I'm letting you eat in here now," I continue after she rolls her eyes at me.

"I need it to level out my bed.. one leg is shorter than all of the others." I whip my head over in her direction, hoping she's kidding. She smiles back at me, so I just shake my head, hating how she can always pull my leg, and hating even more how I always believe her. I pull into the parking lot, both of us getting out and heading for the arena in the same silence we normally do.

The parking lot is normally vacant when we show up too, but today I can't help but notice a familiar black car. As we approach, he gets out, a smile on his face that I see reciprocated on Sam's. This is just lovely.. like I really need to put up with the lovebirds this early in the morning..

Ch. 11

Short update, thought I should throw some friendship issues in there in between all the Marc drama.

Sid's POV

I'm practically pacing by the time I hear them approaching the house. I sit down on the couch and grab the remote to the TV, trying to go for inconspicuous and nonchalant, but most importantly, trying to make it seem as if I wasn't waiting up for her, which I was. I flip on some game tape, thinking she would fall for the idea of me staying up to watch film over anything else.


She finally comes inside and I glance over at her, quickly turning my attention back to the TV. She walks into the kitchen and grabs a bag of chips before plopping down next to me on the couch. I look out of the corner of my eye down at her while keeping my head facing the TV screen to try and read her emotion, but sadly, I can't tell if she had a good time or not.


She looks up at me, her eyes as innocent as ever as she offers the bag of chip my way after taking a handful of them herself. I shake my head no, gently shoving the bag back in her direction before once again looking at the TV.

"Sid?"

"Hmm?" I reply absentmindedly, doing that thing all men are accused of doing.

"Hey," she says while reaching up and slapping me lightly on the cheek. "Don't do that to me."

"Do what?" I ask while looking down at her.

"Act like you're listening to me, but in reality you're paying no attention to me at all. Rude.."
I laugh at her, knowing I should have figured she would call me on my bluff before looking back at the TV again, actually interested in watching this game now. "Don't do that either.."

"Do what?" I sigh, glancing down at her to show I'm listening before adverting my gaze once again.

"The thing you are doing," she says while getting up off the couch dramatically and going into the kitchen and putting up the chips she was eating, opting for a pop tart instead.

"Thank you for being so descriptive.." I reply sarcastically as she sits back down, not as close this time as she pulls her legs up close to her chest, resting her arms on top of them as she continues to stare at me.

"Ever since I walked out that door to meet Marc, you've been so distant. Whatever happens with Marc, it doesn't affect me and you at all," she says while breaking her pop tart in half, then into fourths, then into eights, and finally into sixteenths, successfully making bite size pieces, just like she use to do all the time. "You're still my number one.. dude."

"Number one dude?" I question, feeling a smile pull at the corners of my lips as she shakes her head yes frantically. "So I'm your dude.." I sigh, shaking my head at her explanation.

"Yep," she agrees. "My dude," she continues while shrugging her shoulders. She gets up to leave, but I open my mouth, and she just chuckles before tossing a piece of her pop tart my way which I catch with my mouth, just like old times before she almost skips up the stairs to her bedroom.

Sam's POV

I head off to bed, ironically stressed and relieved at the same time. Stressed because I think I could like Marc, like really like him, and relieved because the air seems to be cleared between Sid and I, at least for now.

I felt so at ease with Marc it was almost scary, almost as if we'd known each other forever, as if we were childhood friends. The only other person I feel that way with is well, Sid, and that's probably because we were childhood friends. There is just something about Marc that appeals to me, and I can't really describe what that is.

Isn't that the way love is suppose to be though? Unexplainable?

I'm not saying it is love, no, it's way to early for that, but I really can't express the feelings stirring withing me at the thought of his name, the thought of his accent, the thought of that smile he gets when I say or do something stupid..

Okay, so maybe it's just wishful thinking. After all, who knows what he is thinking or wondering. Better yet, he's a man.. he's probably not thinking or wondering anything, but sometime a girl has to wonder.

And on top of it all, I think things are good between Sid and I again, which only makes my adrenaline high even worse. Obviously I want to see what happens with Marc, but I hated that by doing that I was going against Sid's wishes.

Sid's important to me, he always will be, but there comes a time when people have to prioritize. I know I mean a lot to him as well, but I also know that I am no where near the top of his list of important things, and that's okay with me.

Anybody that is a part of Sid's life knows that it comes with a cost. Hockey will always be his first passion. So literally, you can't be his number one.

Not really anyways..

Ch. 10

Geez.. writers block for one story and then all thoughts or ideas hit the fan, I swear. I don't know what is wrong with me... lol I swear I looked at a blank screen for days, not being able to decide how this all went down.. was it good, was it awkward, did they automatically it it off, and so on. Ugh. Hopefully things go back to normal soon, because this is killing me. All comments are greatly appreciated at this point.. who knows what one of you guys could say that set me off on a rabbit trail of ideas.. lol

Marc's POV

She walks out the door with a smile on her face, making her way straight to me and pulling me into a hug, allowing me to get a nice feel of her curves and a whiff of vanilla before she kisses me lightly on the cheek. So much for tonight being about a friend helping out a friend, because as she pulls away from me I have anything but friendly thoughts going through my mind. I guess I should give up trying to remain neutral, because I know that if Sid knows we are going out together tonight, albeit as friends or more, he also won't be friendly anymore. He's always been demanding, but it's never been an issue before. And so, with one simple night out together, a harmless hug and kiss on the cheek, I'm sure World War III could break out anytime soon, sending us all to our respective corners as we wait for the bell to ring.

I had every intention of just taking her out, showing her around Pittsburgh all while keeping my distance. Friends do that, right? At least that's what I keep telling myself. This is just a friendship, it's really all it can be. Except I threw that idea out the moment I saw her, not being about to get her out of my mind now, the way she smiles, the way she doesn't hold in laughter, at the way I know I'm going to have a good time tonight just because I'm with her.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks as we continue to stand patiently, almost waiting for the other to make the first move.

"Nothing," I lie, smiling at her as I start to walk to my car. "We should probably get going," I say while opening the door. I'm about to get in when I realize she hasn't moved. "What is it?"

"It's a pretty evening," she says while looking up at the sky. "Let's walk."

And so we walk. We head off toward no certain destination, just enjoying the night, the silence, and each others company. We take a couple steps before one of us looks over at the other, smiling before adverting our gazes back to the ground in front of us, only to go a couple more steps and doing it again.

It's then that I realize how long I've lived here with unseeing eyes, how many little details I've missed through my car window as I zip past it.

"So you like it here in Pittsburgh?" she asks, finally breaking the easy silence we had fallen into but never once looking in my direction.

"I do," I agree while nodding my head, but then just thinking that's silly because she can't possibly see me do such a thing since she's not looking at me.

"Why?' she prods. This one, she's definitely nosy..

"We win here," I answer with a laugh. "Winning is good."

Sam's POV

Ugh, men. No, better yet.. hockey players. One track minds I swear. Okay, two track minds, hockey and sex, but anything aside from that is a stretch.

"No, not Pittsburgh the hockey team, what do you like about Pittsburgh the town?" I ask, being more specific so he can't give me an easy answer. Nope, he's gonna have to think hard for these ones.

"Good question," he says with a sigh. "I've never thought about it before. For me, Pittsburgh is hockey," he says while shrugging his shoulders.

"You're so boring," I reply in an exasperated tone. "Do you ever concentrate on anything but hockey?"

"Sometimes," he says with a smirk while finally glancing over at me. I feel my cheeks flush, and I can't believe this is happening. I'm blushing..? Crap this man is good.. I never blush..

Marc's POV

"So you've never really gotten attached to anything in Pittsburgh besides hockey?" she asks, and it's almost like she's daring me to say no, just so she can throw it in my face when she finds out I'm finding it very hard not to become attached to her.

"It's just for me, this isn't really home," I say while waving my hands around. "This is work."

"Pathetic," she sighs dramatically while rolling her eyes, once again baiting me. I look over at her, completely caught off guard only to see a smirk on her face. This one.. she's sneaky. "Okay, well since you don't like Pittsburgh, I'm going to figure out what else you like."

"And why are we playing 20 questions?" I ask with a laugh, not really remembering the last time I've done this.

"So I can accomodate enough facts to judge your character," she says while narrowing her eyes at me. "Favorite movie?"

"Umm, I don't really have a specific--"

"Keep your answers short, say the first thing on your mind" she demands, but once again that smirk is there.

"Talladega Nights."

"Favorite season of the year?"

"Hockey season," I answer, bracing myself for her reaction. She whips her head in my direction and just stares at me before she mumbles a barely audible 'Smartass' in my direction. "You said the first thing that I thought of.. I have two track mind, right?"

Sam's POV

Oh, he's good.. little bugger.

"Favorite food?" I ask while slowing the pace of my walk down, noticing that we've walked around in a circle and we are almost back to Sid's house, and quite frankly I don't want this to end yet.

"Anything edible," he answers coyly. I look over at him, and he just gives me the same smile that has been making my knees weak for a while now. "What?" he asks while raising his hands in defense. "Hockey player.." I roll my eyes before moving on to the next question.

"Favorite holiday?"

"Thanksgiving."

"Is it called soda or pop?"

"Soda," he says with a chuckle.

"Shut out or shoot out win?"

"Shut out."

"Shoe size?" I ask randomly, trying to see if he's still paying attention to me or dozing off over there.

"Really?" he asks with a laugh while looking at me.

"Just making sure you're still with me," I add with a laugh of my own. "But this is me," I say while holding my arms up as we come to a stop in front of Sid's house.

"Are you coming to the game tomorrow?" he asks while backing away from me and toward the direction his car is parked.

"I'll be there," I say with a smile, only to see it reciprocated on his face.

"Good. See you there," he says before disappearing in his car. I shake my head before heading into the house, only to see Sid sitting on the couch, his intense gaze on me as I walk through the door.

Ch. 9

Sam's POV

After getting out of the shower, I stand in my closet wondering what I should wear tonight. Marc said it would be casual, probably knowing I'm not into the big fancy scene too much. I grab a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a plaid button up and a pair of converse before taking it out to my bed and tossing it there. I take my hair out of the towel it was in before, drying it a little, just enough to get all the drops of water off of it. I head into the bathroom and apply light make up, basically a little blush and a little mascara before flipping my hair to one side, braiding it loosely so it falls over one shoulder, strands hanging down around my face. I throw my clothes on quickly before heading downstairs.

I come down the stairs with enough energy and excitement that I catch Sid's eye, who is in the kitchen making himself something to eat. He looks up at me, probably wondering what I'm up to. I walk through the kitchen toward the refrigerator to grab a water, him watching me the entire way.

"What are you doing?" he finally asks.

"I'm going out with a friend," I answer as I hear a car pull up in the drive way.

"Are you gonna be late?" he calls after me as I grab my purse and make my way to the door.

"I don't know," I reply with a smile before disappearing into the night.

Sid's POV

She practically comes bouncing down the stairs, and I know that that can only mean she's up to no good. I watch as she walks toward me, not saying anything. I almost think she's still holding a grudge from last night, but she gives me her normal danger-filled smile, so I know we are far past that.

After she says she's going out with a friend and exits the room, I peak my head around the corner and can't help but feel hurt at what I see. Marc's car, parked in my driveway. Lovely. I watch from afar through the front window, watching as she pulls him into a hug and then into a quick kiss, making my heart sink a little. I stand where I am, completely shocked. I watch as she laughs, her face brightening and making me wish I was the one that was causing that, not him.

Suddenly loosing my appetite and needing to get out of the house, I slip my shoes on before heading out the back door, needing to clear my mind but needing to stay clear of them too.

I head down the path I've created in the wooded area behind my house by running it millions of mornings in a row. Normally, I would set out at a good even pace, wanting my body to wake up in a sense before going to practice. Not this time. No, this time, I head off at a dead sprint, loving the way all I can think about now is the way my blood is pumping through my veins, adrenaline having taken over a good distance ago. I start to feel the burning in my chest that tells me I'm pushing myself to my limits, but yet all it makes me do is run faster, try harder and to push back.

I've taken a morning run every morning for as long as I can remember. My parents insisted that the early bird gets the worm while I was growing up, and it's just been habit to wake up early since. Most of the time, these little runs are peaceful, a good chance for me to clear my mind. Not tonight.

When it feels like my lungs are going to explode they are burning so hard, I finally come to a stop, bending over and resting my hands on my knees, letting my head hang. Adrenaline comes halting to a stop, making visions of earlier flash back into my memory. No, tonight in general is going to be anything but peaceful.

I start walking back toward my house, realizing that I didn't even notice I ran by where I normally stop and turn around. The long walk back gives me plenty of time to think, something I am completely dreading right now. If there is one thing I wish I could avoid right now, it would definitely be thinking in general.

I never believed in the phrase you don't know what you have until it's gone until now, which is ironic because technically she was never mine in the first place, but damn it, she should have been.

I always told myself that I would worry about settling down after the Cup, but that time came a long time ago, and I still find myself alone. It's not that I didn't meet an enormous amount of equally wonderful women in that time frame, but I already had mapped out the perfect woman for me in my mind, I just hadn't realized it yet. Sam.

I had already decided she was what I wanted. That's why none of the girls ever summed up to what I wanted, no needed them to be. She's irreplaceable.

It makes sense now, all of it does. A lot of people say you end up marrying your best friend when you grow up. When we were little and she would tag along, it never bothered me like it would have a large number of other boys. She was one of us, so to speak. I looked out for her, and she confided in me in return. I always thought I was just looking out for her, watching her back, but oh, was I wrong. I wasn't protecting her for her own sake, I was subconsciously protecting her for mine, not wanting anybody else to have her, but not laying claim to her either.

All of my idiotic mistakes set aside leave me where I am tonight, walking into an empty house with no one there to greet me while the woman I care deeply for is out with another man, my own teammate of all people. Sighing as I enter my house, I go straight for the liquor cabinet and grab the JD, after all, it could be a damn long night.

Ch. 8

Okay, this is totally my favorite story right now, I don't know why. I've got massive crazy ideas for it though. :-) Heard about Sykie and his foot.. I hope the Pens keep him around next year! I <3 him almost as much as Geno.. Almost

Sam's POV

We stand on his porch, waving goodbye to his parents with smiles on our faces, but the instant the door closes behind us, the intensity picks up almost immediately. Knowing I'm going to catch him off guard, I ball my hand into a fist and hit him directly in the stomach.

"What the hell, Sam?! he shrieks, holding my hand in his larger one to stop me from doing it again.

"What the hell was that about?!" I yell back. He walks into the kitchen, getting a trash bag and starting to clean up like you normally have to after having a party.

"That was us, enjoying a quiet night with my parents," he says in a sarcastic tone.

"You know that's not what I was referring to," I scowl back at him.

"Then what were you referring to? You and Marc?" He rebutes, enough anger seeping out of his eyes that it scares me, just momenarily, but if anybody knows how good Sid is at controlling his emotions, it's me. Probably because I'm always the one pushing his limits of sanity...

"Are you serious right now?" I reply, cocking my head to the side. "This is really about him?" I add while walking closer to him even when he backs away until he doesn't have anymore room behind him, and he is stuck to face me.

"I told you to leave him alone," he answers in a voice barely above a whisper while shaking his head, and for the first time tonight I see a softness to his gaze, and not in the brotherly way it normally appears, but he quickly covers that up by averting his eyes from mine.

I can see how he's holding something back, like he has reasons as to why I shouldn't mess with Marc, but I also know that he is stubborn and wouldn't tell me even if I asked. But then again, sometimes I am just as stubborn as he is, so I do it anyways.

"You've never given me any reasons," I say while walking over toward him, taking the trash bag out of his hands and making him look at me. He never has been a good liar, so I know if I can just get him to look me in the eyes I might find the answer I was hoping for. When he just stands there I continue. "Why can't I see Marc?" I ask while taking a couple more steps toward him until our faces are mere inches away for each others, close enough that I can hear his steady breathing and I know he must hear mine increase.

Sid's POV

'Because you deserve the best.'

'Because I don't want him to have you.'

'Because I could treat you better.'

'Because I want you for myself.'

"I'm just trying to look out for you, like I promised you're parents I would." Now is my chance to tell her the truth, and that's what I come up with despite all the thoughts roaming through my mind..? WFT.. I shrug my shoulders, acting as if it's no big deal, but I can see the look on her face and I know she doesn't fully believe me.

"Look out for me from what, exactly?" she presses on, taking another step toward me and turning her head to the side, a questioning look on her face that means she is definitely up to no good. It's then that I realize how close she is to me. Damn she's pretty... She smells good too, and she's way to little and petite to be threatening me the way she is. Wait, what am I, in high school or something? "Protect me from what, Sidney?" she asks when I don't respond, taking another step toward me until I find myself backing away, trying to put space between us. She's using my full name, that just proves how serious she's being. "What's Marc looking for?" she presses on. "A fuck buddy? An easy lay?"

I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out so I just shake my head and shrug my shoulders and give her the 'I don't know..' look and hope thats enough.

"Well?" she asks again, shifting her weight to one leg and putting her hands on her hips in an 'I'm waiting..' pose.

"I don't know what he wants," I finally answer. She looks at me, pondering over the answer I just gave her, but I know she's not done with me yet.

"Then why can't I see him?" she asks, once again stepping closer to me, challenging me to tell her the truth.

'Because I can't stand to see the way you act around him.'

'Because it drives me crazy to watch him put his hands on you.'

'Because I wish I had the balls to put my hands on you..'

"I'm just trying to look out for you, Sam. That's it," I answer while looking down at her, into her eyes and I know that she can tell that I'm not telling the truth, so I put my hand on her shoulder in a friendly way before walking out of the room.

Sam's POV

Damn it.

I stand in the kitchen by myself, feeling a lot more alone than I probably should. I was so close to him telling me the truth, whatever that is. I thought if I kept badgering him, he would give in just like he use to, but it appears as if over time he's actually gotten a better hold on his emotions. Damn the luck, I suppose..

I do know he is hiding something from me though. Maybe he just can't throw Marc under a bus like that, maybe he really is a womanizer or something.

Or, maybe he is just trying to control me like everybody else does. Yes, that's it. The whole captain thing must have went to his head, making him think he can control anybody and everybody now days.

I shake my head, not believing how gullible I've turned out to be and reach in my pocket for my phone, quickly pulling it out and going through my contacts list for the one person I know I shouldn't be calling, but yet hoping he's awake anyways.

He picks up, his cute little accent and voice more rugged than normal from the pull of sleep I suppose, putting a smile on my face immediately.

"Marc," I begin in my best sultry voice, "what are you doing tomorrow night?"

Ch. 7

Sid's POV

I continue to watch the two of them throughout the night, a certain amount of uneasiness being my main emotion, something I've never felt before, not even on the ice. I sit there, wondering what Marc even wants with her. He is nearly 10 years older than her. And yes, she is beautiful. I know a lot of guys don't look at her and still go unwanting, that would be a lie. Everyone knows how gorgeous she is. Well, except for maybe Sam herself. But then again, there is something about the way she can always get what she wants that makes me wonder if maybe she does, and she's just a good sport about it, until she's using it against men that is. And she can get whatever she wants and she knows it, she always has been able to.

And then that has me thinking, why does she want Marc? She could have any eligible guy out on the street, someone much younger, more her age.


Unless she's after money..? No, I shouldn't even think like that. I get a bigger paycheck than him, and she's never once came onto me.


Unless I missed it..? The guys are always telling me I'm slow on all issues that have girls involved. No, we're friends. She would never hit on me, I don't know why I'm even thinking about that anyways, it's never going to happen.


I see my front door opening, glad to see my parents making their way in because I desperately need a change of subject in my thoughts. I also see Marc getting up and heading for the door, but not before he pulls Sam into a tight hug and she lightly presses her lips to his cheek before he turns to leave as soon as I slip through the sliding glass door.


"What was that about?" I ask while nodding my head toward Marc's lingering form.


"He wanted to wish me happy birthday," she replies in a harsh tone before scowling at me. "Last time I checked, it's perfectly legal for friends to wish friends to have a nice night."


"Sam!" My mom exclaims, thankfully taking Sam's icy glare off of me as she walks toward them.

"Mr. and Mrs. C," she greets while pulling them both into a tight hug. "It's been too long."

"We haven't seen you in forever. Look at you," my dad says while shaking his head, "all grown up." She puts her hands on her hips and poses like a model before they all laugh.

I've never seen my dad like that with anybody before, especially girls. Especially girls I spend a lot of time with, never mind live with. He's always had a soft spot for Sam though, even when we were growing up. He always wanted me to date her when we were little, but I would always just laugh it off. I look at her now, smiling and joking it up with my parents, and I can't help but wonder if I was wrong..

Sam's POV

Eventually everyone else goes home, leaving just me, Sid, and his parents alone sitting in his living room. I love his parents to death, always have, and I know that they are both very fond of me, but even though I haven't seen them in ages, I can't give them my full attention during this visit of theirs. He sits on the couch by his mom, and I curl up on my side of the love seat with his dad on the other half, and we just stare at each other. It's been happening ever since every one has left. We stare, waiting for the other to give in until one of his parents say something, bringing the game to an end.

I don't know what's up with him tonight. He's tense, rigid in all of his motions, unusually quiet. Yes, he those things normally, but tonight it's worse, done to a much bigger degree.

We are like fire and ice, so completely opposite, but compliment each other all the same. It's as if the craziest things he can come up with in his head he can assume I'm going to do, and I can assume that anything safe and responsible is calling his name. He can talk me out of doing most of the idiotic things that come into my mind, and sometimes, just sometimes I can make him take a jump into the deep end, just do something spontaneous.

And this all brings us back to this moment, sitting across from each other speechless, waiting for the other to blink first, to give in.

"So are you keeping him out of trouble?" his dad asks while slapping my knee, bringing me out of my trance and my eyes off of Sid's for the first time in what seems like forever. Luckily, both his parents haven't picked up on my uneasiness or his hostility.

"I don't know that that's even possible," I say while shifting my gaze back to Sid's, a smile on my face so his parents think I'm joking, but a look in my eyes that's telling him I'm serious.

"I don't know what you're talking about dad," he says with a laugh. "She's the one that always seems to be playing with fire," he adds while looking back over at me and using the metaphor we use to describe our friendship, zeroing his intense gaze back on me that sends a shudder down my spine.

Ch. 6

Sam's POV

A small amount of people mingle in Sid's living room, the rest of the group to show up later I'm sure. I can't imagine too many people passing up the opportunity to hang at his house..

We sit and watch from the kitchen, myself perched on a bar stool and him leaning against the corner of the bar so that we are perpendicular to each other.

"My parents are in town," he says, breaking the silence we had fallen into. "They said they wanted to stop by some time tonight and see you.

"Awesome, I haven't seen them in forever," I reply. He just nods his head, so I feel the need to continue. "So, is this how birthday celebrations go down in Pittsburgh?" I ask. I've seen the looks some of his older teammates have been giving us, and I know that it makes him just as uncomfortable as it has been me.

"It is," he adds while a small nod of his head, a smile creeping onto his face before he raises his beer to his mouth, taking a drink. I reach for one of the unopened bottles sitting across from me in ice, but his hand meets mine there.

"20," he reminds me while putting my hand back down on the table. "Not 21."

"Oh, you're no fun," I pout while sticking my tongue out at him, which just makes him roll his eyes and chuckle before walking toward the sliding glass door that leads outside and sitting down in a chair on the deck with some people I've never met before.

Marc's POV

I timidly make my way into Sid's house, finding it mostly empty and a majority of the people out on the back deck, but not her. She's sitting on the couch in front of Sid's huge TV, playstation controller in her hand, completely consumed by some game.

"Why aren't you with everybody else?" I ask while sitting down next to her.

"Birthday present," she says while nodding her head to the TV, indicating the game. "Had to try it out," she continues while throwing a smirk my way, then turning her attention back to the game. Sometimes it amazes me how much she gets into stuff like this. She's every man's dream I suppose.. "I'm glad you came."

"Yeah?" I ask, glancing outside to see if Sid is anywhere in view and finding him starring at me.

"Mhmm," she responds. "Wanna play?" she asks while hitting pause and reaching for the second controller that was down on the ground. I wonder if she realizes how many ways that term can be interpreted, but when I hear a small snicker come from her lips, I know she definitely does, which absolutely drives me crazy.

Sid's POV

I sit on the deck, sitting in a chair conveniently facing the glass window so I can watch the two of them. Part of me wants to stand up and march in there and break up their moment. But then I think about it, and I know that she is old enough to make her own decisions, and I'm going to have to let it go. I've warned her... that's all I can do. For now, at least..

She suddenly jumps up, bouncing up and down and throwing her hands in the air in a victory dance I suppose, and I can't help but think how adorable it is.

Wait.. what?

Shaking my head, I clear it of all the previous thoughts that had been floating through it. It's Sam. Good ol' Sam, the innocent Sam from down the road, but also the Sam that has been inconveniently depriving me of a good sleep as she plagues my dreams, something I've been trying to over look for couple of days now, but somehow I always seem to get back to the same thoughts. Like how young she looks when she first wakes up, her hair still touseled from the night before, how innocent she looks when she sleeps, and how tempting she looks when she's out to impress. Damn it, I did it again..

But then, I see her sit back down, resting her hand on his thigh. It's not much, but nevertheless it still has my skin crawling. I'm not sure why, because I know Marc is a good guy, I know he would take care of her, but even though I know that, I can't seem to make my mind comprehend it.

Ch. 5

Okay, there are far more people pulling for Marc than I anticipated. :-S Haha, just didn't expect to see that one.. Where are all my Sid lovers?? lol But just to add a little more suspense, I've already decided who she's gonna choose. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcG4beiKorM&feature=related Just found this video, I found it pretty funny. It's old, I know.. I do think Sid is in denial though.. He does have a dark side on the ice. I know I've seen him use some choice words on frequent ocassions. But who am I kidding, we love him for it. Love to see him smiling in an interview as well. :-) haha

Sam's POV

I sit back and watch practice, loving how sitting here has me thinking about when I was younger and did this all the time. Practice ends, and I look down at the ice watching the guys when I notice Sid is gone. I take a closer look, thinking that maybe I just over looked him, but no he is indeed gone, which could mean trouble. I continue to watch the guys mess around, some of them disappearing toward the locker room when I see him standing there, an extra pair of skates in his hand

"Still remember how?" he asks with a smirk.


"Of course," I reply while standing up, the same smile reflected on my face.


"Well come on then," he says while waving his arm, telling me to come join them. I walk over to the railing, jumping over it easily and landing down by him on the walkway. "Okay," he says with a laugh, "that wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"It worked," I reply with a shrug while tip toeing out of my sneakers and reaching for the skates. He gives them to me and then quickly makes his way to the ice. I make my way to the bench, putting the skates on in lightning speed before hopping over the boards and realizing how much I'd missed this. All the guys look at me as if I'd just done something spectacular, and I just shake my head. It figures that they don't expect someone like me to like playing hockey, but I'd been doing it for fun since I was little. It was practically the only way I could hang out with my brother since it always seemed like he was playing.


I skate by Sid, grabbing his stick out of his hands. I mess around with the puck in front of me when I notice Marc is in the goal crease, but he isn't paying attention at all.

Sid's POV

I skate back over to the bench and get another stick, going back over to where she is and taking the puck from her easily.

"You're a little rusty," I add while skating a little circle around her, picking the puck up and handling it in the air a little.

"It's not my fault," she says while trying to get the puck back, but failing miserably. "Somebody always made me play goalie," she adds while placing her hands on her hips.

"Come on Sid, that wasn't very nice," Jordan adds while skating past us.

"No, it's alright," she yells toward him. "I'm the reason he's so good," she directs toward me before flashing her normal smile and taking the puck back from me and skating off right as I'm called from somewhere down the hallway, wanted to do an interview of some kind I'm sure, so I leave as I see Marc begin to talk to her.

Marc's POV

She hops onto the ice with ease, not timid at all. I know she's Canadian, but not everyone knows how to skate, and with the way she's moving and spinning, I have no doubt she's been doing it since she was little. She grabs Sid's stick and starts messing with the puck. She's no where near extraordinary at it, but she does have some moves of her own.

Sid finally leaves, everybody else sort of filing off the ice one at a time until it's just me and her. She skates over to my end of the ice and comes to a stop out in front of me.

"Come on," I say while grabbing for my helmet. "Give me your best shot."

A broad smile crosses her face before she pushes the puck out in front of her, shooting it with more force that I thought her small frame could muster, but right toward my glove side which I snag easily. I toss it out in front of me, showing she'd have to try again. She comes skating up to me, flinging ice on me while grabbing the puck and laughing while she skates away.

Normally, I would do as Sid says because not only is he my friend, he's the captain. I like it in Pittsburgh and I know that messing with him is the basically the easiest way to get a first class ticket out of here, but for some reason I can't seem to ignore her like I know I should, and as she turns back around and gives me a stare that probably means more than it should, I think she knows exactly how hard of a time I'm having trying to respect boundaries.

Sam's POV

I stare at him, wondering if he's thinking what I'm thinking or if I'm just reading into a simple stare too much. I've never been like this around anyone before, especially guys. Normally, people skills is not something I have a problem with, but for some reason every time I'm around him I'm at a loss of words, which is also something that doesn't happen often. Everybody I know would describe me as quite the chatterbox, or maybe even your typical smartass, which I must admit is true most of the time. I love getting the last word in on most situations. Not in a rude way, in a playful way, which is why I think I get along with a majority of the people I meet. But for some reason, anytime I'm around Marc, I find myself unusually quiet, which I find odd since we haven't even talked that much, but just for some reason anytime I even see him starring at me from across a room, I'm brainwashed and not thinking coherent thoughts.

Shaking my head, I think back to every lesson I'd ever learned about shooting a puck and I rear back and let it go, sending the puck flying at Marc and successfully into the back of the net on my second attempt. I shake my head at his effort level as I skate toward him. He takes his mask off and he has a guilty smile plastered on his face.

"You let that go in," I say while shaking my head at him, and even though I'm slightly mad, I still find myself smiling.

"Yeah," he admits bluntly, his signature jaw dropping smile crossing his face before putting his arm on my shoulder and directing me off the ice.

Ch. 4

Sam's POV

I slide into my new car, waiting patiently for him to get in. He gets in at a slow pace that drives me crazy before tossing me the keys which makes a smile spread across my face. I put the key in the ignition, turning it to start the car, and I know my smile gets ever bigger at the sound of the car coming to life, practically purring and asking to be taken down the road at breakneck speeds.


"You are such a guy," he says with a laugh while shaking his head at me.


"Oh you like it.." I tease while throwing the car into reverse. I get on the main road, and I love how just the slightest touch of my foot on the gas pedal has the motor revving. 'You gotta love muscle cars..' I think to myself. Knowing Sid would flip if I peeled out in front of his drive way, I take it a slow pace, a responsible pace. The speed can come later when my baby sitter isn't with me..


I know I probably shouldn't say it like that, but it's the way it feels sometimes. And I also know that a million other girls would pay a crapload of money, maybe even an arm or leg, literally, for him to babysit them or be sitting next to them in their new car like he is mine now, so I know I shouldn't be complaining, but he's just Sid to me, not the hockey hunk that has been stealing teenage girls hearts from all over the world since the age of18.

"Hey Danica," he says, breaking me out of my trance, "slow down, you have to be going at least 20 over the speed limit." I rev the engine a little bit more and he just looks over at me. "Millions of people in Pittsburgh would be pissed if you killed me, so slow down so you don't have an angry mob of hockey fans after you," he jokes while shaking his head, something he's been doing a lot toward me lately. Normally, a comment like that would come off cocky, but him and I both know he's had the town of Pittsburgh eating out of the palm of his hand for a while now..


"You're not as indispensable as you think," I say while smirking, and then laughing as he whips his head back toward me because of my comment. "Yeah, I said it," I add while he glares at me. "You've already brought the cup back to the Burgh, twice actually. Not to mention your bad knees, who really knows how much magic they've still got in them," I say while reaching over and tapping his leg that is closest to me. He slaps my hand away playfully, turning his attention back out his window but I can tell he is smiling.

"Just drive smartass," he commands with a smirk of his own, and I do so willingly, because I love this car.

Marc's POV

I'm about to make my way into the arena when I see a car I've never seen before pulling into the parking lot. A nice car, a car I wouldn't mind having myself one day. They drive by me, and it's then that I see Sam driving. A woman that can appreciate a classic car like that..? Now that's hot. No, it's one better, it's damn sexy.

She gets out of the car, smiling like crazy. It's then that I see him getting out of the car as well, which makes me a little bit aggravated. He said that she was off limits to he whole team, himself included, but I can't help but notice how close they've been getting, especially now as he's waiting for her to catch up to him to walk into the arena. Her eyes scan the parking lot, finally catching my gaze.

"Hey Marc," she greets with a smile, but I can only give her a short glimpse before I go back to looking at Sid, trying to pick up on his mood. He knows I want a shot with her, but I can also tell that he wants his too, so to say that there has been some tension in our friendship over the past couple of weeks would be an understatement. "Looking at my baby?" she asks excitedly. I stand dead in my tracks. Did she just refer to Sid as her baby? Then I let my gaze come back into focus, and I can see her car behind him. I let go a sigh of relief as shes already making her way over to her car, waiting patiently for me to take a look.

Sid stares me down, trying to make me remember all the things he's told me before heading off toward the arena.

"It's pretty bad ass, I'm not going to lie," I offer with a smile, loving how excited she is. "Birthday present?" I ask, to which she just nods her head. Then it occurs to me, he probably got it for her. "From him?" I ask, not being able to say his name out loud. Luckily for me, she doesn't pick up on my hostility.

"And my parents," she adds while walking off toward the arena. She turns around to look at me, and it's then that I realize that she's waiting for me, so I follow her diligently. "Are you coming tonight?" she asks, breaking the silence we had fallen into.

"To Sid's?" I ask, even though I know that that is probably what she is referring to. She nods her head, prompting me to answer the question. "I don't know.." I say with a shrug.

"You should. It will be a good time," she says while throwing me a smile before opening the door and walking away.

Sid's POV

I see him standing there when we drive into the parking lot, and for a minute it looks like he's just going to continue his route to the arena, but then I see his head snap in our direction, no doubt seeing Sam driving. I know Fleur has a thing for cars, but there is no way that's what he was looking at. She starts talking to him, and I know that I won't be able to be around her 24/7 to stop things from happening between her and any of my teammates for that matter, so I know that I'm going to have to trust her to respect my wishes.

I know that Sam is old enough to make her decisions, and she is pretty responsible for someone her age, but I also know that she is naive, just like any girl her age. It's so easy to get caught up in guys like Marc's 'cute little accent' as I've heard most girls describe it, even though its disappeared some through the years, and I also know that him speaking French is definitely to his benefit. Girls definitely swoon over that factor for some reason. I shake all thoughts of Sam, Marc, or whatever guy I'm sure is going to hit on her next out of my mind as I enter the locker room, knowing that there will be time to deal with it later.